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saying goodbye to her

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by forever_scarred, May 20, 2008.

  1. forever_scarred

    forever_scarred Well-Known Member

    Today i went to a church and just sat there -- i was uncomfratable the entire time and every thought told me to leave to flee from this place that i hated so much but i didnt one part of me kept me there staring at the candles at the front of the church - i have been lighting a candle almost everyday (especially while i was at school) would sing a song (only a select few) then blow it out. A friend took me to her church -- she talked to the pastor who had left two candles out front then left us(me and my friend) alone - megan and i just sat there -- i was holding back so many tears and when i heard her cry softly i lost it -- i stood up to leave but something drew me to those candles.. i touched megans shoulder and looked at the candles we both went up to them and looked up - she was crying and i was uncontrollably crying - so we both stuck a match and lit both candles at the same time - one for her nana and one for my mom - we blew out the match then we held each other and sat down. i dont know how long we sat there crying but gradually things hurt less - megan turned to me and said sing i told her no - she said no one is here just us, nana and ur mom - sing - sing to make up for the time u didnt.. I couldnt i wouldnt sing that song -- i just couldnt.. megan stood up and said ill be rite back - she was gone awhile and showed a few minutes later with a cd player - she said sing like no one is listening - sing this song (the one listed below) - so i reluctantly agreed - she sat down next to me as i began to sing. So with the candles burning this song filled the air:

    when the light begins to fade
    and shadows fall across the sea,
    one bright star in the evening sky.
    your love's light leads me on my way.

    there's a dream that will not sleep,
    a burning hope that will not die.
    so I must go now with the wind,
    and leave you waiting on the tide.

    time to fly, time to touch the sky.
    one voice alone, a haunting cry.
    one song, one star burning bright,
    may it carry me through darkest night.

    rain comes over the gray hills,
    and on the air, a soft goodbye.
    hear the song that I sing to you
    when the time has come to fly.

    when I leave and take the wind
    and find the land that faith will bring,
    the brightest star in the evening sky
    is yours to find for me.
    is yours to find for me.

    I cried towards the end and almost couldnt finish the last sentence - i really didnt feel anything - not peace but not pain either - as i finished the song we walk up to the candles together said a silent goodbye(as i had done many times) and blew the candles out.
  2. Very beautiful post, forever_scarred.