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saying I love you

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by innocencexisxlove, Dec 19, 2008.

  1. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    is it considered cheating to say i love you to someone you aren't dating, when you are dating someone else at the same time??

  2. Aissela

    Aissela Well-Known Member

    No, you can love more than one person at a time and it'd be an awful thing to have to hold back such a beautiful feeling. Tell that person you love them, it's so nice to hear it sometimes. It can make a big difference in someone else's life.
  3. Milton

    Milton Well-Known Member

    Surely this depends on the type of love implied? I'd say yes if you're talking about the romantic kind.
  4. cinZamurai

    cinZamurai Well-Known Member

    This depends on what you and the person you communicate with put in the word "I love you"

    if you are "not" going to take it anywhere its cruel to make the person think you want to be with them romantically when you dont plan to.

    What it comes down to is what "understanding you have with the person", love is a powerful word and if you throw the "romantic version" of "I love you" around you will end up hurting people for no good reason.

    I myself save the 3 words for a) family b) best friend c) romantic love d) if its understood not to involve a romantic kind of love "an understanding".

    Loving more then one person romantically?, go ahead, but first make sure they know what the deal would be. Dont drag them in to a situation where they feel betrayed and hurt. Jealousy is hardwired and it have ruined many, many relationships. Some people might be able to handle sharing romantic love with multiple persons but most people will want the "romantic version" of "I love you" to be exclusive to them or nothing.

    thats my :twocents: on the matter.
  5. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    thank you all for your response.

  6. Lovecraft

    Lovecraft Well-Known Member

    Monogamy isn't really realistic.
  7. aoeu

    aoeu Well-Known Member

    I was in the receiving end of this. She told me she loved me, but months later it turned out she'd been dating a guy at the time... I feel lied to, personally.
  8. Milton

    Milton Well-Known Member

  9. cinZamurai

    cinZamurai Well-Known Member

    Also disagree
  10. SOL1

    SOL1 Member

    Hate to sound like a broken record, but I also disagree.

    I tell everyone I do love, that I love them. Not the romantic kind of love, but the family type of love.

    If that's the case with you, I don't think it's "cheating".
  11. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Depends what kind of 'love' you're talking about. If it's just a 'buddy-buddy' kind of thing then I see no problem with it. I sometimes say to my friends "Love ya", that sort of thing, but I love them as if they were family to me.
  12. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I recently told a friend of mine that I loved her and it totally freaked her out. That nearly ended our friendship. Those are three words I won't be using lightly ever again.
  13. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    I would say it is if you're saying it to someone in the sense of more than friends, and if you know the other person has stronger feelings than friends too. Buut, even when i'm with someone, i say i love you to close friends all the time and don't consider it cheating.
    Everyone has different opinions on this type of thing though.
  14. ~Tosh~

    ~Tosh~ Forum Buddy

    I say it to spencer a lot, and we are close friends... yet im in a relationship...
  15. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I've assumed you mean a romantic type of love.

    I think it depends on the expectations you and each of the other people have of the relationship you share with them.

    Casual dating is like going out with friends - you like/care about each other, but have not said you'll date only this one person. More serious going together usually starts when both people want and expect their bf/gf to be exclusive to him/her. So, to decide if it's cheating to date one person and tell another person you love him, maybe you could think about the following questions.

    Is it a casual dating relationship with both, and you have begun to have feelings for one of them and thus you told the second one you love him? Is it a serious, long-term, exclusively dating only one person, yet you've said "I love you" to another?

    If dating others vs exclusivity has never been discussed in either relationship, perhaps you could raise the issue with both and work on what their and your expectations are, and then decide if you say "I love you" to one, while still dating the other. I guess the idea I'm trying to get across is that all three of you have some expectations and any or all of you could be hurt if those expectations are not stated up front and then met in the relationship. You might have to make a hard choice: one or the other, or be left with neither...

  16. innocencexisxlove

    innocencexisxlove Well-Known Member

    thank you all
    very very much

    i think i get what you all mean :hug:

  17. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I have love for everyone :grouphug:
  18. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    I think saying I love you is wonderful and it should be said more often, doesn't matter how it's meant.