scaerd.

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by lost_child, May 23, 2009.

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  1. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    5 minutes to write, it came from nowhere, not read it back, feels like a last letter, i think it is a last letter. i feel that the time is almost over, always sensed, 6th sense, that i wouldn't reach my 30th Birthday (08/06/2009) and that's becoming very much a reality..my mum told me the other month that on the 13th she was having a BBQ for me at hers (she leaves hours away), because 1) she never thought i would be alive 2) incase I take my life on the 08/06..... its truth, its how I fell. maybe that's why i'm more destructive now, becuase the time hsa come.

    Did you notice that I was alone
    and heading towards the unknown.
    I tried to call you
    but your were gone.

    Did you notice that i never cried
    for those tears before were denied.
    i wanted to move on and heal
    the pain I couldn't conceal.

    Did you notice that the calls had stopped
    my life fallen, i had long since dropped.
    If you had cared, you would have known
    but to everyone, i was just an unknown.

    Did you notice the pain in eyes
    holding in all those lies.
    I wanted to hold your hand
    but i was just a grain of sand.

    Did you notice that i was losing
    everything was so confusing
    nobody was there
    I was in despair.

    Did you notice that I wasn't whole
    my life taken, that's what they stole.
    you couldn't reach me
    never heard my plea.

    Did you notice that I was gone
    that for someone time i'd been withdrawn
    that i tried to reach out
    I just couldn't shout.

    Did you notice days had passed
    and the other day was my last.
    that you hadn't heard my voice
    and that I had no choice.

    Would you have noticed, if I cried
    and told you I tried.
    I could have found that friend
    someone to help me mend.

    Would you have held me
    if I wasn't so big
    would you have listened
    if I told you all.

    You couldn't be there,
    you didn't understand
    the confusion that I hold
    you just didn't care.

    You couldn't be there,
    could you,
    you couldn't just help me
    a child, inside trapped.

    You just wouldn't listen,
    I was different.,
    I wasn't the same as you,
    I didn't make friends.

    I couldn't accept love,
    I didn't know care.
    so to you, you left me on my own.
    and now, i'm just unknown.

    you would have noticed if you just cared
    if you could have said you'd be there,
    but you walked away when i need you most
    now here, I am just a ghost.

    Your reading this, and i'm not here
    you couldn't help me when I was alive,
    I don't expect you to ask why,
    I tried, but I choose to die.

    I choose death over life.
    life is hell
    lonelyless is a killer
    the past is torture.

    Now I've choosen......
     
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I would really like to be friends with you and try and help you out if you want me to. You wrote me a pm asking if I would be there, then I responded, but you didn't get back to me.

    So I guess I'll respond here. Is this to your mother, to many people, to your whole family? Send me a pm...let's talk a bit.
     
  3. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    that's a beautiful poem. is that addressed to your mother? i've had people say that to me a lot, not knowing if i'd be dead or alive and it hurts. i know that hurt. that's why i've distanced myself from those people and because the people around you think you're going to die and do not support your life or encourage you, doesn't mean that you will die.

    i notice. you're shouting so so loud on this forum that you're in pain and so many people care that you get through this period.

    like shades, i'd like to be your friend because i can relate to so much you're going through but i'm better now. i know you're not well, and you're in a tremendous amount of pain, and, at the moment but i don't have net access where i live- talk to shades, if he's willing to listen to you. there are so many hands reaching out to you here to hold on for a while and try talk to the people in your care to support you as best as they can.
     
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