scared 2 dream?

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by mandyj101, Aug 30, 2009.

  1. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    hi 2 any1 that reads this..
    i wasnt sure wether 2 talk about this in the 'dreamers' section or here..
    basically iv not been sleeping very well.. well.. not at all most of the time..
    iv recently changed my medication.. it says it can make u feel really drowsy and tired on the leaflet- i was hoping it would then at least i would get some sleep..
    im almost scared 2 fall asleep.. every time i try 2 sleep i have horrible nighmares.. the most recent where all my insides are coming out of my tummy and i have 2 push them back in :dry: .. its not just the goreish dreams though.. its things from the past that seem 2 haunt me all the time.. i try not 2 think about the past.. and i succeed alot of the time.. but when it comes 2 going 2 sleep i just feel like im drowning in all of this messed up stuff.. its getting me really down :(
    im now 45 hours without sleep.. i feel really lost.. i cant even say how i feel because i dont know.. i just know im messed up right now.. i thought i was kinda making progress.. but its like everything is going down hill again..
  2. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Dreams are very powerful. And they are a very powerful tool for our subconscious. Repeated dreams of graphic nature are usually an indication that you are bury things. Your mind needs to release them and only has your dreams to do that. Basically it is your mind and body trying to tell you that you cant hold or hide the thoughts any more. As painful as recalling and talking about those things might be, you need to hun. To either a therapist, counsellor or a friend. Until you can get some closure on those things, they will continue to haunt you in one form or another.
    If they have started since you changed your meds, that is also a common side effect of many drugs. Very vivid and graphic dreams. When I once started a new med I had a dream so graphic that in it I jumped to save someone. I instantly woke up to a gash below my eye and a rather large gash to my forehead. Seems I jumped in real life too and landed face first on the night table beside my bed. My son came running when he heard the thud and told me what I looked like. Didnt believe him til I looked in the mirror (lol). That morning off to the doc to tell him that I thought the meds were doing me more harm (literally) than good (lol). Changed my meds immediately!
    Either scenerio, you need to talk hun. You need to sleep, because without it, you are only going to find yourself slipping further. I'm here if you want to share. Maybe starting with me you can get the courage to take it to a professional who can really help you through this.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hey the meds could be the culprit here definetly tell your doctor about nightmares. I too have nightmares but can't remember any of them just wake up screaming yelling then go back to sleep so my husband says. I was told we can control the outcome of our dreams by remembering them then just before sleeping play a different ending to them in our mind and then if we dream again that new outcome usually plays through. I hope you get some sleep soon Mandy as it must be terrible hard to function in any compacity. Take care get a hold of you therapist is you can and really let go of some things okay just let it all out take care
  4. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    thanku for replying itmahnah and violet..
    inside i know i have 2 deal with past things fully.. i guess i dont want 2 though.. even though theer is this big part of me that can see that getting well will require me 2 visit the past again i really dont want to.. my heads so messed up..
    its now 1.30am.. i really dont want 2 shut my eyes till my body demands it.. i even researched how long the human body can last without sleep..
    im no where near the limit.. im tempted 2 try and get as close as i can - as messed up as that sounds.. i dont feel tired as such .. just strange..
    i havent self harmed for a few days.. maybe this is another form of self harm? even though i dont feel tired i know im hurting myself..

    i really dont heads just spinning..the world just seems so alien 2 me.
  5. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I suppose in a way it is self harm not giving your body the sleep in needs. Please reach out let it all go it is the only way to stop the brain from going totally nuts. Just let it go small amts at atime with your therapist Please i know it is hard i held onto it way too long so now know its time to let the pain out Write it all out and give it to your therapist what you feel you can cope with this way you dont' have to say anything just hand writing to T and let he or she help you.