scared and broken may trigger

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by _Lily_, Aug 31, 2013.

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  1. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    Here i am again ( we are me and my alters ) scared and broken
    The little ones are scared ...too scared to talk about it in detail
    Too scared to ask for help

    We have no T and will not get one for another 6 months as we are waiting on OCD therapy
    I dont want a T involved with us so am keep us quiet
    they dont need to know about us and dont need to ask about our past

    So am dealing with flashbacks memories of someones abuse

    Not me ... never me
    Shhh.... dont tell
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    oh hun i am sorry you are suffering through this alone please you will need to trust someone and talk ok and get the help you need so you are not alone hugs
  3. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    If we talk about it will be more real husband and the drs know but never in detail
    Id get into the trouble if i tell them everything because it was my fault

    They should have killed us ...things about child abuse on the news today making us feel bad

    Husband didnt see its so he is ok
    ( my husband is also an abuse survivor )

    just feel dirty all the time
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    no you will not get into trouble that is the words they used to keep us quiet hun nothing NOTHING was your fault it is never the childs fault never hun
    the only one that is dirty is the o ne that abused you
  5. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    I dont want my family finding out about it i told my mum once about an abuser she said it was my fault and the abuser had a hard life that abuser is dead The other abusers maybe still alive am not sure

    I dont know if i could talk the last time we just staired at the floor crying ... we cant say it out loud either too bad to talk about it
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I know hun i kn ow i don't talk about anything either but i let the therapist help me release the tears that have been buried inside me
    it is ok you cry and stare at the floor hun it is h ugs
  7. _Lily_

    _Lily_ Forum Buddy

    Feeling very bad at the moment ...every time there is a story about abuse we get triggered But we need to watch the news because we need to keep up to date with what is going on in the world
    We try and shield the little ones from it
    But some times they find out and are upset

    We dont know if we could talk anyway we tried to do art therapy we drew things but when it came to talking about the art we just claimed up and didnt talk about it
    Dont know if we can do it again or get close to someone for 7 sessions then have to leave
    We dont know how long theses sessions are going to be
    Plus its only for OCD as well ...We need to keep us secret if the mother finds out about us she will say we are making it all up and that we are insane
    Maybe we are
  8. Morgana

    Morgana Well-Known Member

    i think even being able to draw things in art therapy is at least a step in the right direction? it's really hard to talk about things. maybe instead of talking about it next time, you could write it down instead? maybe writing it down would feel safer?

    i don't know how it works where you are or how old you are, but i know here, as long as you're over 18, your parents don't get to know anything at all about your treatment, so i don't think your mum would be able to find out about it all?

    and you aren't insane. <3
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