Scared and overwhelmed. This is how I described myself nowadays. As you may not know I am having trouble at work. I have been put on notice that my work isn't up to standard. Now I am paralyzed at work. I have a project to do at work and I alternate between being too paralyzed (by fear) to work and wanting to walk off the job. I can't walk off the job - I have no job to go to - and I sit there in fear of reprecussions if I don't get the project done 100% correct. My other co-workers aren't 100% correct -they just hide it easier. If I do get fired, then I give up. I will hang around for 2 years and then suicide. The thing is I don't want to suicide. My home life is pretty good. But I need to get by the paralyzation otherwise I will get fired. And I don't know how. I go to sleep paralyzed and wake up the same way. I feel I'm doing the same thing as before the warning. I'm giving 100%. But obviously not good enough. The therapist is on vacation until next week and what can she do anyways. It's always been up to me. I'm so disappointed in myself. That's what hurts. Thanks for listening.