Scared and overwhelmed

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by cymbele, Sep 25, 2014.

  1. cymbele

    cymbele SF Supporter

    Scared and overwhelmed. This is how I described myself nowadays. As you may not know I am having trouble at work. I have been put on notice that my work isn't up to standard. Now I am paralyzed at work. I have a project to do at work and I alternate between being too paralyzed (by fear) to work and wanting to walk off the job. I can't walk off the job - I have no job to go to - and I sit there in fear of reprecussions if I don't get the project done 100% correct. My other co-workers aren't 100% correct -they just hide it easier.

    If I do get fired, then I give up. I will hang around for 2 years and then suicide. The thing is I don't want to suicide. My home life is pretty good. But I need to get by the paralyzation otherwise I will get fired. And I don't know how. I go to sleep paralyzed and wake up the same way. I feel I'm doing the same thing as before the warning. I'm giving 100%. But obviously not good enough. The therapist is on vacation until next week and what can she do anyways. It's always been up to me. I'm so disappointed in myself. That's what hurts.
    Thanks for listening.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    cymbele is there a union where your work can you get the union behind you I am sorry you are feeling so much pressure from work Y ou can only do what you can as no one NO ONE can be 100 percent no one ok hope things settle down soon for you
  3. cymbele

    cymbele SF Supporter

    No union. No recourse. Probably won't get unemployment either. I haven't been able to get another job. I get lonely out of work. It will be rough. But I spent yesterday trying not to walk off the job. I need the money. I need the work. I don't want to die but I will if I don't have a job.
    Thanks TE for the comfort. I guess I should have put this in member's Diary forum. I just need to vent.