scared. may upset others.

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by EmmaHenry, May 23, 2008.

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  1. EmmaHenry

    EmmaHenry Guest

    i cant feel it anymore. im scared and ashamed.
    I dont want this to be part of me anymore, but it is and it always will be. Its who i am.

    I can feel him.
    on my skin.
    in my hair.
    and i wash and wash and wash but its still there.

    The flashbacks and the dreams.

    Im living it every moment. I cant get past it. its getting worse.

    I have noone i can tell. i cant let them know what i am.

    I know i wanted it. i think i did. im sure i understood and i could of stopped it but i let it happen time and time again and the guilt and shame is killing me.

    Its ripping me apart from the inside. Please make it stop. please make him go away. will it ever stop?
  2. EmmaHenry

    EmmaHenry Guest

    im such a fucking whore.
    im sorry.
    i dont deserve anyones support.

    i deserved it.
  3. It sounds very much like you've been manipulated! :sad:

    And those that do so are eerily skilled at it - often making one feel shame even before, not only during and after. Or they start out with providing a slick, deceitful sense of security and trust. They specifically target those who are 'vulnerable' (not to be mistaken with "weak or stupid") - they 'sense' them - seek them out - know how to convince them no matter what objections or hesitancy the 'target' may feel. Anything less than 'wholesome', that has made you feel SO utterly terrible did NOT come from a good place, with good intentions, but that someone like that is a master at wielding power over someone - purely for their own benefit and gratification. You need to speak to someone! Please call a crisis line in your community as soon as possible to start!! They'll listen and offer suggestions/avenues, and you can be more open with them about the details...

  4. EmmaHenry

    EmmaHenry Guest

    thank you for replying.
    i didnt think anyone would reply.

    I would call someone, but i know i deserved it.
    i might have been young, but i must of caused it, or created the situations somehow.

    he said i acted so much older than my age. that he could tell what i was thinking.

    I just want to tear it out of me
  5. There is not one single honest word that comes out of the mouths of people like that, Hon! They're so convincing that they even convince themselves of their lies! And they do it again and again to keep on getting their way - which in ONLY and always about themselves, their ego, their satisfaction, their "victory". And if their victim expresses remorse of any kind, the abuser will instinctually turn it to their favour/advantage and play on the feelings of the victim! It is their second nature to do so! They have never, and will never admit guilt. They have no conscience whatsoever - and if ever they did sometime in their lives, it is long, long gone and will not come back. They will justify anything in any way they can come up with - and have practiced this for so long that they are 'experts' at it! They are predators through and through, to the core of their beings...

    You did NOT do this!!!

    You did NOT bring this on!!

    You did NOT deserve this!!

    Please call someone in your community! :sad:
    Last edited: May 23, 2008
  6. ZundertowZ

    ZundertowZ Well-Known Member

    nothing angers me more than rapist and petophiles! why these mother fuckers get such lite sentences so they can rape and molest over and over ill never understand! please do not let this scum ruin your life! find some1 to talk 2! not all men r peverted scum! U R NOT A WHORE! PLEASE SPEAK 2 SOME 1!
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Perpetrators are so good at making their victim feel like they wanted it, or asked for it, or deserved it. Nothing could be further than the truth. They use this to justify to themselves that they did nothing wrong. It was not you. It was him. You should speak with someone about these false thoughts that have been parked in your mind. You did nothing wrong hun to deserve that type of behavior.
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