So here is my story. I am young (almost 17) but i still feel like there is no one in the world for me. I've had some shorter relationships, dating, affairs... but nothing lasted, because I ! always broke up with the person. At first i was fantasizing about him, got him... and then i started to look for mistakes that this person has. And in the end i would end everything. I mean i still wanted to be with this persons, but no i actually didn't... or did i? Damn i'm so confused, i don't know what to do. I'm not affraid of being hurt. I am scared of commitment to one person, what if someone better comes across? what will people think about this relationship? will this ever make me happy? .... I see my friends. No one has such problems. If they like someone, and that someone likes them, they will do everything to keep that person. But I wouldnt. I would end it, and convince myself that this person isn't right for me. And in the end, i'll regret my decision . This came up now, when i got involved with my schoolmate (because i see him every day) Damn i've always dreamed about him and then had drunk affair with him. He wanted to try something, but i said no. I mean i still want him... but no, i don't. I don't know why i think all this. Hes not what i've been searching for. We can't even talk normally. I think that we have nothing in common then. I hate myself. Why can't I just be ''normal'' why do i feel like this. It makes my mind go crazy and confused. Does anyone feels the same? Will that feelings go away when i grow up?