i go to the pdoc on monday. i'm scared to tell him how i reaaly feel. that i am suicidal, depressed, and think about cutting at times. i know i need to tell him some of it, but how much is safe to tell. i've been locked up before for saying how i am really feeling. before i didn't care one way or the other. now that i'm free from the system, i am scared to tell how it really is. i'm scared of the meds they will put me on, don't want to become a zombie. but at the same time i need help. if i don't tell him some things he won't know, and i won't get the meds i need. what the hell am i to do. open my mouth and get locked up, or keep my mouth shut and get no help.???????? hmmm? maybe i won't even go see him. probably will tho. just not sure what and how much to say. i need the meds, but don't think it is safe for my freedom if i tell all. especially on the first visit to a new doctor.