I think i've been feeling so unhappy for so long now that I couldn't imagine being any other way. Happiness is an alien concept to me and I don't know what it's like to live a normal life. As messed up as this may seem, i'm scared of the thought of being ok again. I don't want to participate in life at all; I don't want to work, I don't want to go to parties, I don't want to experience any of those things and I think it's because i'm so used to self harming and living the life of a depressive. Of course the idea of happiness and normality sounds good, I just don't think that I could live with it. Self harm acts as my barrier between the two. Does anybody else feel this way?