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Scared of love

#1
I don't know if anyone can help me with this, because it's not really a question, but I have to get it out.

For a long time I didn't seem to feel anything for anyone. No one attracted me in any way, and I was worried because everyone else had a partner or at least a crush.

Now I met this guy and his just absolutely amazing. He's beautiful, funny, everything. When I think about him I'm so happy.
But in a way, this is even worse. It disgusts me so much.

I hate myself for liking him, I disgust myself for thinking I could ever deserve someone like him.
I'm scared that if he finds out that I feel something for him, he will be creeped out and never want to see me again.

Maybe those thoughts are dumb. Maybe I'm worrying to much. But the thing is that I'm not particularly popular. The whole school more or less hates me, including myself. Why would he like me?

I'm sorry if this doesn't make senesce. That's not the only problem I have, and my life doesn't let me think straight.
 

moxman

The "Perfect Life" YouTube channel is neat
SF Supporter
#3
Maybe those thoughts are dumb. Maybe I'm worrying to much. But the thing is that I'm not particularly popular. The whole school more or less hates me, including myself. Why would he like me?
No your thoughts are not dumb at all. You have a real attraction to this man. You are worried about not feeling this way for anyone else. You are scared to tell him how you feel because you don't want to scare him away. That is not dumb at all and I totally understand where you are coming from with that.

Let me ask you this question, tomorrow if he left and went somewhere else, how would you feel at not taking the chance to confess your feelings? If you don't tell him how you feel, could you live with yourself? If you didn't take this chance at love, how would you feel?

I wish you the best.
 
#4
I'm actually glad to hear that you are finally experiencing these feelings as you had wanted to before. It's good to remember that you have gotten what you wanted :)
I'm am rarely attracted to people; many many years often pass without anyone catching my interest. I find this somewhat weird if I look around at others (which I should not really be doing) but I also try to embrace it as part of me. It's okay to be different.

Love/feelings are not always smooth or perfect, and we often have to deal with and overcome some doubt. It may be worth addressing whatever self-worth issues you have. Find good things about yourself and repeat them to yourself regularly, and try to improve the other things/areas about yourself.

Love is a risk...but so is all of life. Nothing ventured, nothing gained?

You do not necessarily need to act on it right now, but it is good to know that you are capable of having these feelings, and also to know the things inside that it brings up, for you to maybe address. There is good in all of us: find yours, value and grow it.

Also, see attachment


 

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