Scared of my true feelings

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by hollyrocks, Dec 13, 2007.

  1. hollyrocks

    hollyrocks Member

    Im an 18 year old girl coming up for 19 who has finally realised that I am a lesbian.

    Im scared of the feelings I have, I told my best friend at college and she told me I was a freak and proceeded to tell everyone, I get funny looks and comments. Which Im used to as Im always wearing dark clothes and make up, im a goth chick and Im called a freak for that as well.

    Is there something wrong with wanting to be with other women?

    I need someone to help me through this.

  2. If she was a good friend to you, she ought to be supportive of you. There is nothing wrong with being goth and lesbian.
  3. hollyrocks

    hollyrocks Member

    Im not sure what to think, im confused and I have no one to trun to with this
  4. bunny

    bunny Staff Alumni

    there is nothing wrong with wanting other women, unfortunatly things like this can really show you who your true friends are, and im sorry the friend you told hasnt been supportive.

    there may be a youth group you could go to with other like minded people who will most likely be supportive of you, maybe a LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, some add a Q for questioning) group in your college, or local area, if youre in the UK i know some youth services run groups

    if you would rather talk to someone here, feel free to PM me :hug:
  5. Beattles

    Beattles Well-Known Member

    goth is one of the sacred sub cultures that im in love with at the moment. i really love all the metal based groups.. goth, thrashers, the old school heavy metalers, ect..
    its quite normal for gothic girls to be lesbians/bisexual because they tend to be in touch with thier feelings.. by that i mean the enjoy anything that gives them pleasure. and they realise that nothing they do will make them popular with other types (particularly jocks and other associated assholes) so they dont really care what others think.
    this all comming from a fellow headbanger, i dont think you should be affraid of yourself or your sexual preference, but do try to find other hammerheads to confide into. maybe youll even find a gothic lesbian partner who is just right for you.

    good luck.
  6. hollyrocks

    hollyrocks Member

    Is there anybody out there who understands or has been through what I have, I would love to hear from them.
  7. Fishman

    Fishman Guest

    I didn't think the'd have that attitude in this day and age with all the crap they put on tv.
  8. hollyrocks

    hollyrocks Member

    I think people tolerate lesbains and goths on tv but its a different matter when they are confronted with it in real life.

    But I think its a disgrace that I should have to be tolerated full stop, Im not a mugger or a rapist im just me.
  9. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Aw :hug: I'm sorry these people are flipping out on you. Are you religious in any way? If so, does your religion prohibit you being a lesbian? I am a Catholic and so if you are a Catholic and BELIEVE in it, then you are not supposed to practice homosexuality. But I would NEVER judge someone else for it, and I would never condemn anyone.

    If you are very certain that you are a lesbian (and if you really ARE, you should be very sure), and if it does not conflict with your religious beliefs, then you are acting according to your conscience. If lesbianism is against your religion, then unfortunately, you need to re-assess your life and your needs and act accordingly.

    Please be certain though that you are not doing this on a whim, that it does not conflict with your beliefs and that you are quite certain that this is not just a phase, because it is a big deal, a defining transition.

    Your friends (IMO) should be more mature than this. WHY are they freaking out? Because of their religion or beliefs?

    That said, your friend is a bitch. She should not be going around telling people what you told her in confidence.

    On the other hand, are you quite certain about being a lesbian? You are young and rebelling via your goth persona, which will probably not last very long (the goth part). Trust me when I say that this goth thing will not last forever. You will find your way and your path and will most likely (not definitely, but probably) leave the goth lifestyle behind. So ask yourself whether or not this lesbian thing might or might not be a "phase".

    Do not do anything that you will regret later. Be yourself. Do some studying on beliefs and certain lifestyles and make a conscious decision as to who you honestly want to be.

    Do not compromise yourself just because you feel lost.
  10. hollyrocks

    hollyrocks Member

    Im not catholic or religous in anyway and I know now that im a Lesbian and have come to accept the feelings I have inside me. I like being a goth its comfortable
  11. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Have you talked to anyone about it?
  12. altek001

    altek001 Well-Known Member

    a large problem with being openly gay is that society is still not completely accepting of those who decide that is who they truly are. some may say "oh! yeah! equal rights for sure! yup. love them homos!" but when they find out their neighbor isn't straight, they suddenly assume that neighbor is a poison to their child's mind and cut all contact.

    "why can't i go over to mr. tomlinson's anymore, daddy?!"
    ...he's....well...y'see, son...i...ummmmm...honey!!

    in my opinion, a lot of the problem is that many don't know where they really stand on the issue of homosexuality or, they just don't like the idea at all and decide to double-speak like politicians. if only people cared...

  13. hollyrocks

    hollyrocks Member

    My mum and my brother knows