Scared of sex..

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by delerious, May 11, 2008.

  1. delerious

    delerious Active Member

    i know what your thinking but no, i'm not frigid, it's because i experience intense pain whenever i try..
    for the last three years i have been trying to fix a problem of excruciating pain.. last december i had an operation (a laparoscopy) for endometriosis, and although i didn't have it they did find a cyst which they removed.. i thought it would get better after a couple of months. and it has a little..but it's still quite bad. it's just gotten to the point where i'm scared to try. i don't want to do it and when i see it on movies or just think about it it makes me cringe...
    so this makes things hard for me and my boyfriend..i have very low self esteem and i fear that it's just getting worse.. i don't know what to do. i don't understand why i am still like this..
     
  2. Fatman1966

    Fatman1966 Antiquitie's Friend

    sex should not be painfull, go back to the doctor and tell them what is going off, tell them how it is making you feel, the whole story, not just that sex is painfull, I know it might be hard, but if they can they will try to help you.

    Have you tried using "toys" by yourself, just so you can be in control, with plenty of lubricant, a bit like aversion therapy, to see if you can build up it slowly

    Just a thought
     
  3. XXXXX

    XXXXX Antiquities Friend

    Ummm, yeah Doctor for sure and also........:wink:

    Just to say that just cos' you may have had / still have something physically wrong does not mean that you cannot also have something "non physical" (Frigid is a bit of a sh#tty word - and just cos' some things are non physical does not mean they are not real)........could well be that 1 has led to the other.....folk do have things go wrong with their bodies all the time, it's just how these things are, and sometimes the bits of our bodies affected are not what we would choose to waive at a Doctor :rolleyes:........but try not to get too hung up on what is just normal......may well just be like having an injured foot, even after it is physically fixed takes a little while to also get back to feeling / believing that it is 100%.

    On the Boyfriend front, plenty of things yer can both get up to to work around the present difficulties......and still both get yer jollies......if you want.......and which in time may form part of the "solution". My suggestion is to talk to yer B/f and so he understand that you are not happy with the situation - and that it is not personal to him.....men can be surprisingly understanding.

    Of course I am not a Doctor :biggrin: But a 40 year old bloke does get to see and talk about "stuff" over the years........that at 21 he would have been mortified to discuss!
     
  4. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Hi.. I think I know your problem.. Im not sure of the spelling so Im not even going to try..If you want to hear what I think just ask me for more information or send a pm.