Firstly i'm not looking for sympathy. I'm also not looking to be talked out of it. I really do not know why the hell i'm writing this on here, i don't know what i want to achieve out of it. All i know is i want to die but i'm to much of a pussy to do it.
My reasons are firstly life started out pretty crap, had an alcholic abusive step dad who used to beat the crap out of me and my mum. I can picture him hanging me over the bannister until i wet myself, can picture him beating the crap outta my mum on the stairs and of me. My mum eventually did the right thing and we just left one day, travelled nearly 600 miles away without a penny and only the clothes we were wearing. this was when i was 10, i'm now 26.
i do have a real dad, he left when i was a baby and cheated on my mum. i searched for him and found him, he told me to pass the phone on to my mum, so i did, he told her to tell me never to call him again.
People at my new school didn't like the new poor boy with the strange accent, i was bullied but i soon made friends. I grew up to about 22 found a nice girl who i was madly deeply in love with who cheated on me and i've never spoke to her since to this day. i miss her so so much.i need closure, she dosn't speak to me.
Now im 26 i'm redundant applying for jobs not getting anywhere, broke, living with my parents. I'm incredibly shy with 0 self confidence. I have a big group of friends but i only speak to them. i do not speak to people i don't know, i'm just too shy. I've got a insanely bad temper when someone hurts me or my friends i'm allways getting arrested and in trouble for fighting, if my friends wernt around to pull me off i swear i would not stop beating someone until they were dead.
I want to fall in love.i wish i had a father figure. I wish i wasnt so shy and anti-social, i wish i close to my mum, i want to give her a cuddle so much i jst cant look at her in the eyes, i'm to much of anti-social person to even speak to her and i know she knows i'm a loser
I'm in so much pain, i cry and i cry and i cry. Even my brother and sister who are younger are moved out with nice houses, and partners. They come and visit and just make me feel crap with stuff about how i'm living at home with no job.
I need to know the easiest way to die. Sorry for the essay
My reasons are firstly life started out pretty crap, had an alcholic abusive step dad who used to beat the crap out of me and my mum. I can picture him hanging me over the bannister until i wet myself, can picture him beating the crap outta my mum on the stairs and of me. My mum eventually did the right thing and we just left one day, travelled nearly 600 miles away without a penny and only the clothes we were wearing. this was when i was 10, i'm now 26.
i do have a real dad, he left when i was a baby and cheated on my mum. i searched for him and found him, he told me to pass the phone on to my mum, so i did, he told her to tell me never to call him again.
People at my new school didn't like the new poor boy with the strange accent, i was bullied but i soon made friends. I grew up to about 22 found a nice girl who i was madly deeply in love with who cheated on me and i've never spoke to her since to this day. i miss her so so much.i need closure, she dosn't speak to me.
Now im 26 i'm redundant applying for jobs not getting anywhere, broke, living with my parents. I'm incredibly shy with 0 self confidence. I have a big group of friends but i only speak to them. i do not speak to people i don't know, i'm just too shy. I've got a insanely bad temper when someone hurts me or my friends i'm allways getting arrested and in trouble for fighting, if my friends wernt around to pull me off i swear i would not stop beating someone until they were dead.
I want to fall in love.i wish i had a father figure. I wish i wasnt so shy and anti-social, i wish i close to my mum, i want to give her a cuddle so much i jst cant look at her in the eyes, i'm to much of anti-social person to even speak to her and i know she knows i'm a loser
I'm in so much pain, i cry and i cry and i cry. Even my brother and sister who are younger are moved out with nice houses, and partners. They come and visit and just make me feel crap with stuff about how i'm living at home with no job.
I need to know the easiest way to die. Sorry for the essay