I don't know what to write here but I need to write something somewhere or i'll go mad. Been on the 'mend' for years and years and life feels like those western towns you get in movies with the fake buildings. Each part of life is a cut-out that the ones who love me see as bricks and mortar. I'm scared to make a move to strengthen one cardboard cut out lest another blow over and the impending eventuality is that the whole town is going to collapse and every day is more and more stressful. The funny thing is that years ago when my town was all rubble I could find comfort at least in knowing where all the bricks were. I'm scared of life and it is affecting my career and my relationship which I spent so long trying to build from barely anything or any hope. How do you make big decisions when the smallest things terrify you over and over again?