Scared To Live

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by I-Died-In-My-Dream, Apr 5, 2008.

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  1. I-Died-In-My-Dream

    I-Died-In-My-Dream Well-Known Member

    I'm going to start this from the middle because it's a very long story.

    My is paranoid and delusional. He has been accusing my older sister of drugging the food in the house. He keeps saying all these stupid things like, we look down on him, just because the wind made the door slam. He just thinks that my sister and basically everyone hates him and he's threatning to hurt/kill her. He said that next time she does something again he'll stab her. My sister hasn't done anything. No one has done anything to him. She goes to school, work, comes back home and goes upstairs on her laptop. When she gets home, if she goes in the kitchen he'll start fucking shouting saying that she's a witch and she's drugging the food again. I swore that if he hurt anyone in the house I'll fucking kill him.

    To make matters worse my mum is going to go on some meeting for two days, leaving us in the house with that crazy bastard who'll probably think he can do whatever he wants and will go even more fucking insane when my mums not around and a tragic event will happen. I've been nagging my sister to buy a ticket to send him back to my aunts house but she's just like, oh I don't want to worry mum. My mum has seen what's going on. I asked her if she's just going to wait until there's a corpse in the house and she just said she'll talk to mum later. I don't think they quite undersatand the reality of this situation.

    I'm scared and angry. I don't know what to do. I swear to god the next time they start shouting at each other I'm calling the police, killing him then running away to kill myself. I don't want my family to get hurt but I can't take this anymore. I want out. I'm so scared and angry that I'm literally shaking. Why should I be scared in my own home. Why the fuck does this have to happen to us.
  2. I-Died-In-My-Dream

    I-Died-In-My-Dream Well-Known Member

    Just when I started to have hope all hell breaks loose..........

    I'm done with life. One more trigger and two lives will end.
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    do not harm him, or yourself but please take your sister, leave the house and get somewhere safe. once you are safe, you can call the police and health services and, if needed, return with them to the house

    your safety is the most important thing. if, as you say, yr brother is paranoid and delusional he needs professional help. it sucks that your parents have not arranged for him to get help, but since you are there and it is escalating you must take action.

    get safe, then call.
  4. I-Died-In-My-Dream

    I-Died-In-My-Dream Well-Known Member

    My sister was thinking that we just go stay at a hotel for those two days, but we can't just keep hiding. I don't know why they aren't sending him back to my aunts house where, as he says, acts like a sane human being. He is incapable of living with human beings. I'm going to talk to my mum about sending him back. If they start shouting again I'll call the police imediately.
  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    the most important thing is for you both to be safe. a hotel sounds like a good option, but doesn't really get your brother the help he needs. do not take any chances. please.
  6. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Please don't kill your brother hun. All siblings have difficulties at some point. Maybe your brother needs some counseling or other professional help. Talk to your parents about him.
  7. I-Died-In-My-Dream

    I-Died-In-My-Dream Well-Known Member

    If he dares to hurt my sister then I'll hurt him back. This person will not agree to getting professional help, he always thinks that everything he says is right. I won't let him think for a second that he can do anything he wants. :mad:
  8. I-Died-In-My-Dream

    I-Died-In-My-Dream Well-Known Member

    Ok, I've found a solution that's 100% non violent.

    I hope it works.
  9. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    Your brother needs professional medical help. I don't think whether he wants it or not is important as, from what you said, he does not seem entirely of sound mind. I would call the hospital, explain the situation to them and see what course of action they recommend.
  10. Ugly

    Ugly Active Member

    I don't think you should kill anyone

    Maybe it best you start seeking treatment
  11. I-Died-In-My-Dream

    I-Died-In-My-Dream Well-Known Member

    Things appear to be much calmer nowadays. Don't know how long the peace will last though. One more argument and I'm just walking out and never coming back. I kept saying I would kill because I was mad and scared at that time. I could never kill another being. Just in case there is a hell I don't want to see it. There's no point in killing another when I could kill myself. Maybe my death is just what this family needs. Maybe it'll bring them closer together...... or maybe it'll make things worse.

    Or maybe nothing will change because none seem to care for another but themselves.

    Well, if the peace remains then the answer will be known by them on the 30th may. And if it does not last for that long then it'll be known much sooner.

    I don't know why I bothered to care about their wellbeing. What's the point?
  12. Sentient-Blizzard

    Sentient-Blizzard Well-Known Member

    you said yourself that your brother is delusional and paranoid, wherever he feels like he needs help is beyound the point. Get him some help. o what is your non violent plan by the way?
  13. I-Died-In-My-Dream

    I-Died-In-My-Dream Well-Known Member

    Things seem to be okay now.

    All we had to do was not be in the same room as him all day :\
  14. Asari Attar

    Asari Attar Active Member

    Keeping distance is a good interim measure, but it's not a solution. Your brother needs professional help. He is either faking in an effort to keep control over your entire household (unlikely to not possible) or mentally unstable. The only way you can get him the help he needs is to bring in people who are not part of his current circle, namely medical professionals. If you need proof video is probably best from a legal standpoint, though it's the most dangerous to get. He is holding your family emotionally hostage. That needs to stop.
  15. I-Died-In-My-Dream

    I-Died-In-My-Dream Well-Known Member

    That was my first guess. It seems most likely. I've decided to not care, as that is what everyone else seems to be doing. I was only worried for others safety. But I have something more important to pay attention to. I've talked to my parent and my sister. They simply told me to give it a rest. If they don't care for their safety then I'm not going to waste my efforts. I'm just going to let it be.
  16. Asari Attar

    Asari Attar Active Member

    Keep yourself safe. If you need to talk feel free to pm me.
  17. I-Died-In-My-Dream

    I-Died-In-My-Dream Well-Known Member

    Your signature rawks :)

    Things are getting better now. 'He' is leaving this sunday. It's a pity really :\

    I'm less stressed now and I'm concentrating on school work. I hope this enthusiastic mood isn't temporary. I think I've become a little more mentally stronger :smile:

    I'm going to stop looking in the dark abyss. No more gloomy thinking. Gloomy thinking won't get me anywhere.
  18. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm scared to live too, but not because of any external factors. I think I actually have a phobia of life. I've been having non-stop panic attacks from three weeks and there's no escape because there's no escape from life, or is there?
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