I'm not really sure how to say this... I was sexually abused by my step father throughout a great deal of my childhood. It to this day effects if I sleep, how I sleep where I sleep and the conditions of where I sleep. I have a decent sized bed, a good sized bedroom and I've decorated it up. I don't sleep in my bed, or my bedroom. I sleep in my living room on a couch, with my TV on. The only time I sleep in a bedroom or bed is if it's with my partner and only if I trust them. I am scared to sleep in my apartment when I'm alone, but I can't sleep if someone is in my apartment that I don't trust a lot. I'm afraid. I am scared to sleep in my bedroom. I'm afraid I will be attacked again. I know it's not that logical; my step father is dead, and my other past abusers are not near me. I am still scared though. I keep an outfit of clothes next to my couch, as I always feel I need to be prepared to run away. Has anyone experienced this? Has anything helped?