Scared

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Marga, Oct 23, 2015.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Marga

    Marga Active Member

    I thought things were better, and they were relatively ok for some time, but I'm in crisis again. I lost my boyfriend over a year ago, then my friends left me. But at least i had a decent and calm job. But i have begun to notice signs of bullying now. Im so scared.. I was in an abusive relationship from which i haven't fully recovered yet and i don't know whether i can take any more abuse. Im all alone in a different city, no friends, nofamily I wont be able to survive it... I don't want another round of hell to go through... :( Thanks for the opportunity to vent.​
     
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I understand from list what you are feeling but you have to remain strong. I know it's hard but you have to live another day. I am glad you are posting as it will help you to release the pain you are feeling now. You will find support here but please be safe.
     
  3. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member



    Marga, Hi,You have lost your Boy Friend, you have lost your friends, you are in a strange place and you are alone & you notice signs of bullying? You were in an abusive relationship an have not yet fully recovered? Marga, you are scared as well? an you just vent?

    Marga we are here if you want to talk or do something more then vent, I don't want to push you, I want to ask is there anything else that we can help you with? If you need someone to talk to or to listen, all you have to do is ask, We are here to support and help where needed an when needed, I know if I was dealing with all of those issues at once, I would ask for someone to talk to! I don't know you i don't think i have talked to you before but if you ever want to talk I am here.
    Take care of yourself Marga,but remember there are others here to help if you need it!​
     
  4. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Thank you for sharing. It sounds like you are going through a lot at the moment. A new place and new life can be really hard when you are feeling down. It's hard to make friends, family arent there, its a different world. I am wondering if you are being bullied at work or somewhere else? What are they saying to you and how many people are doing it? Please say more if you feel you can, if not I understand. Take care of yourself.
     
  5. Marga

    Marga Active Member

    Thank you for your support. It is a difficult time for me, indeed. It's terrible how suddenly everything in your life can change. Three years ago I had eveeything and now I've lost it all and keep losing... It is s downward spiral that doesn't seem to stop. I'm looking for the step hat is going to change the situation so that it becomes better but it never comes... Every other change/step i a step down...
     
  6. Marga

    Marga Active Member

    I have to post again about my current problem with work. I messed things up quite a lot... I had some issues with people, but not serious. But I wanted to applyfor a job and people got to know. I think they want to get rid of me by pointing to mistakes in my work, which I might be doing because i am depressed, anxious and not focussed. I also made the biggest mistake of going to company psychologist and telling her some of my issues... So stupid, i just couldnt prevent myself from going there. They have an obligation of not saying anyone anything, but I actually dont believe now that I can trust it. Maybe its just a way to get information and get rid of difficult people. I seem to have an impression that my colleagues are watching me, monitoring my work. My boss told me now that I will be subject to some sort of assessment ... Im so scared. I think the psychologist is evil. Just wants to see me destroyed. Im so stupid having gone there, I dont know why I did it. I am afraid Ill lose my job. On top of all things in my life. It feels really self-destructive. Im glad I can write here, thanks to anyone who reads, this forum really helps.
     
  7. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hey, I'm sorry for what is happening at work. It's not stupid that you tried getting support. I think that she would not dare risk sharing what you said with the company because if someone found out she would lose her job and possibly worse. If the company was caught doing that they would be hit pretty badly, that's blatant discrimination and people with depression and anxiety are just as entitled to work as everyone else. You sound paranoid of your boss and your colleagues, what kind of work environment is it? You may want to consider a new place if you are being treated unfairly as you said before. It sounds toxic for you and maybe a new job will help to make you feel better. I'm glad you find the forum helpful. I hope things turn out well for you at work whatever you decide.
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    hello Marga I am sorry you are feeling so isolated and alone, while you might not have friends amongst you where you are living you have this support service here to help you. Bullies are cowards do nit let them win you are stronger than you think. If you ever need to talk just private message me.
     
  9. Marga

    Marga Active Member

    Hi Cicada, thanks for your understanding and insights. Maybe you are right, maybe I am a little paranoid, its hard to assess, isnt it. Anyway, I dont feel well there but I dont know whether it's more about my feelings or the environment, maybe a little bit of both. I think a colleague there with a lot of influence is talking badly about me and people are not friendly towards me because of that. But its a very good job and well paid. But im in a foreign country, lost my boyfriend and very isolated... Im doing therapy but it's helping only so so.. When you dont have a support baseof family (which in my case wouldnt be support even if they were here) and friends you are so vulnerable... Im thinking of leaving he job but it would mean moving snd thats annoying. Also difficult to find job in my country from here... And I dont have anyone there anyway.... :((
     
  10. Marga

    Marga Active Member

    Thank you for the support Petal.
     
  11. True-Lee

    True-Lee Well-Known Member

    Marga, Hi again I want to say I read my first reply to you, I felt that I may have sounded harsh to you, If I did I want to apologize for that, I see that you are talking to people here and it seems to be helping you, I am so glad that you are getting some much needed help an advice, I have been where you are right now, I was going through therapy at the time as well, my therapist just said I should speak up an be more assertive. I did it went well for a while, I was there 17 years, I can understand that feeling of being watched, I was being watched, they installed cameras in my office Quote for my protection! Saying something that may be true, is not necessarily being paranoid, Be Safe Be careful Be kind to yourself and be gentle!
     
  12. Marga

    Marga Active Member

    Thank for the kind words True Lee!
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.