Scared

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Scum, Feb 6, 2007.

  1. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    One of my beautiful bunnies is in labour

    I hate this bit

    I am so scared for her life.

    If the kits die, then so be it, but I can't lose her

    I just have to cross my fingers and hope for the best.

    Come of Loofy, bring me some beautiful kits, and keep fighting!
     
  2. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Long bunny labour

    She had the kits, unfortunately they are dead, but most importantly she is ok, she is eating, drinking, hopping about.

    One little pink slug in the day area, then, as she ran to the nest, she dropped the first placenta. Then in the nest area there were two more dead kits, one pink and one black, and two placentas. The pink babies had been born dead, but it looks like the black baby had been born alive.

    I am glad she is ok, it's such a relief and I will be able to sleep tonight, but, as much as I don't want to admit it, I am totally gutted, shattered by the fact they are dead. They were my hope, my reason for life, like their big brother born last July.

    I don't have a focus anymore. Nothing to hold onto.

    I feel so empty.
     
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    (I'm just chuntering along to myself here, so don't worry about replies or anything).

    I don't want to admit how gutted I am. After yesterdays breakdown I know I can't take much more.

    I'm blocking it out. Yes, I do feel relief for my Loofy, but I am so positively gutted about those little kits, now in the bin.

    I needed that symbol of hope, that reason to live. Now it's gone and she is too old to have anymore.

    I'm already on the slope down, physically pretty ill from what I do to myself, how much longer can I hang on without a reason?
     
  4. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    She had another one in the night, she clearly was not finished when I thought she was. Maybe she thought she was finished.

    I can't understand why they all died. It doesn't make any sense to me. I am glad she is alive, just deeply gutted about the others. :(
     
  5. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    So so low

    Everything is a struggle today

    getting out of bed, getting dressed, feeding the buns, walking to the kitchen, every single little thing is hard. My body feels like a lead balloon, like two tons have been added to it over night.

    I'm alone. No one gives a flying fuck about me, or they want me dead. I can't do this much long. And I refuse to.
     
  6. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    So sad and pathetic

    I log on, hoping, hoping so much, that someone, anyone might reply to this thread, maybe a 'I'm sorry' or :hug: or a good luck for the original post.

    But nothing.

    Then I post that I don't need replies, why? Because it's to try and convince myself I don't. But I did, I desperately needed replies, just some sort of something, something that says I'm not alone. I wrote the first post feeling isolated and alone, and now it's worse.

    So that tells me that when I need support I should not come here. This is not a place for me to receive support, just give it.

    So I will only be around if I feel I can offer someone else soemthing.

    I know that no one cares, and that no one will read this, but I am not posting for this reason, but I will not say the reason I am posting for.

    So I don't know when I'll be around next.

    Take care
     
  7. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    I'm sorry this thread has had no replies scum. Guess the death of animals is something that leaves a lot of people speachless. I certainly don't know what to say to make it seem better. I'm sorry about the kits, but I'm glad your rabbit is ok.

    Please take care
     
  8. bombeni

    bombeni Guest

    Oh I am so sorry to hear about such a painful experience. I can really identify with it because when I was growing up my parents raised purebred dogs, and it was awful when the pups died sometimes, and a couple of times the mother too. I've never had a bunny but I hear they almost like a dog or cat as far as a pet goes. Just know I feel your pain and hope the memories of what happened won't linger too long, and your heart will soon heal.
     
  9. Lost Disciple

    Lost Disciple Well-Known Member

    Hey, look Scum, the first thing that I want to point out is that I am not replying merely because you said you wished someone would reply. I can hardly ever get on except 7th hour, and you kept posting while I was here, so I never had a chance to reply until I had to go.

    I'm really glad that Loofy is still alive and very sad that all of her babies died. It seems so cruel that she had to risk her life to bring new life into this world, and then all that new life died anyway. I'm sorry, but I think you need to just keep going and not get so torn up. There must have been some reason that they couldn't live, some reason that was beyond your control. Don't beat yourself up over it.

    She always has another chance.

    Sorry about not replying sooner.
     
  10. Sorrow

    Sorrow Well-Known Member

    I am really sorry about the baby bunnies. I know how much our animals mean to us and it hurts so much to lose them. I have lost kittens and cats before and it's a horrible thing to go through, but it is not your fault. Sometimes there is nothing you can do. I am a big animal lover so anytime you want to talk about your bunnies or anything else send me a pm. I hope mommy bunny is doing ok.
     
  11. LetItGo

    LetItGo Staff Alumni

    Losing family pets cant be as heartbreaking as losing a human loved one. A friend of mine still dreams about her cat jumping onto her bed and purring away...its so lucid, she swears it happens, she cant see anything but she can feel the energy if you like. I hope Loofy is alright, and continues to fight on.
     
  12. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    nothing matters anymore

    she is dying

    my loofy loo is dying

    one less friend
     
  13. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Hun? You ok? :hug:
     
  14. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    no joe im not

    shes slipping away thats the second in a week (for totally different reasons) plus all her kits
     
  15. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    :hug: :hug:

    .. Sorry hun, I'm not too sure what to say .... I'm here for you though, ok? :)
     
  16. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    Thanks, there is nothing that can be said. Nothing makes it easier. But I really do aprpeciate the offer, it makes me feel less alone, so thank you so much.

    (and well done for remembering where the thread was :p )