Scared

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Zueri, Mar 13, 2007.

  1. Zueri

    Zueri Well-Known Member

    Don't know how much longer I can hold on...tripping over myself for too long...

    I'm trying, consciously trying...but I'm a burden to everybody around me...
    My dellusions are getting worse...I still think mum's coming back. But she's DEAD. D-E-A-D. Yet I keep forgetting...

    And yes I am a failure...been out of school for 5 days. I have my reasons...but I feel guilty as hell. I'm going crazy...slowly insane.

    I tried telling dad about depression...indirectly asked him if he'd be mad if I called the hospital in a crisis situation...He said he'd be very disappointed...because I have nothing to be miserable about in the first place. Then he told me that he was convinced I need a hypnotist...That I needed to suppress my inner feelings or something along those lines...

    What the hell do I do...I just want to end it all. I'm trying not to...it's taking all the strength in me not to.

    But I can't see a point to stay alive...my grades are dropping and everybody around me is fed up with my behavior.
    I'm desperately trying to find a point to live through one more day...

    :confused: :lost: :blue: :sorry: :cry: :cry2:
     
  2. yeah it sure sucks doesnt it. school seems to be the only thing parents think is importent. im sorry for what you are going through but things have to get better. eventully you will meet someone and love them and things will get better if you let them.