Don't know how much longer I can hold on...tripping over myself for too long...
I'm trying, consciously trying...but I'm a burden to everybody around me...
My dellusions are getting worse...I still think mum's coming back. But she's DEAD. D-E-A-D. Yet I keep forgetting...
And yes I am a failure...been out of school for 5 days. I have my reasons...but I feel guilty as hell. I'm going crazy...slowly insane.
I tried telling dad about depression...indirectly asked him if he'd be mad if I called the hospital in a crisis situation...He said he'd be very disappointed...because I have nothing to be miserable about in the first place. Then he told me that he was convinced I need a hypnotist...That I needed to suppress my inner feelings or something along those lines...
What the hell do I do...I just want to end it all. I'm trying not to...it's taking all the strength in me not to.
But I can't see a point to stay alive...my grades are dropping and everybody around me is fed up with my behavior.
I'm desperately trying to find a point to live through one more day...
:confused: :lost: :blue: :sorry: :cry: :cry2:
I'm trying, consciously trying...but I'm a burden to everybody around me...
My dellusions are getting worse...I still think mum's coming back. But she's DEAD. D-E-A-D. Yet I keep forgetting...
And yes I am a failure...been out of school for 5 days. I have my reasons...but I feel guilty as hell. I'm going crazy...slowly insane.
I tried telling dad about depression...indirectly asked him if he'd be mad if I called the hospital in a crisis situation...He said he'd be very disappointed...because I have nothing to be miserable about in the first place. Then he told me that he was convinced I need a hypnotist...That I needed to suppress my inner feelings or something along those lines...
What the hell do I do...I just want to end it all. I'm trying not to...it's taking all the strength in me not to.
But I can't see a point to stay alive...my grades are dropping and everybody around me is fed up with my behavior.
I'm desperately trying to find a point to live through one more day...
:confused: :lost: :blue: :sorry: :cry: :cry2: