Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Chloe_Elizabeth, Mar 23, 2010.

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  1. Chloe_Elizabeth

    Chloe_Elizabeth New Member

    This is the first time I've ever written my feelings down! :/ I normally bottle them all up. And I know that one day I am actually going to crack!! :/

    I've always been this loud bubbly girl. Everyone loves! But then half way through High school (About 3/4 Years ago!) I got bullied and beaten up a couple of times. Also, the teachers used to compare me to my older sister, who is cleverer than me! All of this brought my confidence right the way down! I didn't wanna go to school, didn't want to do anything!! I don't show most people this. I show most people the Bubbly girl they all know and love! But really inside I'm sick of showing people that side of me! I'm sick of putting an act on for people!

    In the last 3/4 years I've thought about killing my self.. at least once a month...!! I've never actually done anything but If I don't write it all down I will end up doing something stupid!!!

    I've recently got a new job, and yeh it was going good for a while. But now it's started to get quite busy and stressful. This is putting stress on the whole team. But I don't think anyone actually realises how stressed and how much it is affecting me.

    Another big thing that's happened in the last year is all my friends have moved on and left me behind as such. I have about 1/2 close friends that I can trust. But I don't like trusting I have done that too many times before and It's always left me upset or hurt!!

    Any small little knocks to my confidence sends me flying down! I find it quite hard to socialise without a barrier (a computer screen, or texting someone.)

    I just hope that this kinda helps me with my feelings right now
  2. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    it's a place to start

    being bullied sucks

    keep letting it out, it will help

    if you want to track your thoughts for later, you could put them in one of the diary sections

    otherwise, welcome to the group
  3. Pebble

    Pebble Well-Known Member

    Hi Chloe Elizabeth, I'm sorry things are feeling so hard for you. Being bullied at school is a very hard thing to get through, weldone to you for coming out the otherside and having a job and everything now.
    Talking about how your feeling can be hard sometimes but it really can help. I'm glad you've been able to start talking about that on here. Hopefully people here can help you through it x
  4. foreverYoung180

    foreverYoung180 Well-Known Member

    don't bottle up your will only make you feel more depressed. and i know its not easy to share your innermost feelings, but the more you do the more it helps. for me it helps to keep a journal and i just keep writing til i get all my feelings and worries off my chest.
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome Chloe, You have come to the right place for support.. No one knows you so don't be afraid to write down your problems or worries.. Then we can brainstorm them and hopefully come up with some answers for you..Take care!!
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