It's too hard for me today.. and i'm scared. I know i don't want to live but i also know suicide is not the right thing to do.. so i try to stay alive as best i can but today it's too hard. There is nothing left of me.. no will or even want anymore.. and i'm afraid. I'm afraid of what i'm thinking and of what i'm planning. I'm not making sense.. sigh. I'll stfu now.