I'm in such a dark place at the moment and I haven't self harmed for a while. I officially stopped 4 and a half years ago however i have done it twice since then, nothing too serious. Yet here I am with it on my mind. The last week or so has been worse than ever, I had a plan, everything but I very kind soul has been there for me, during this time all I have wanted is death and now its not here I have come back to SH. I feel the desire to do it, sort of like killing a bit of myself when I am stopped from taking the whole. Maybe that will ease the thoughts. I haven't done anything yet, but its there waiting, prodding me.