I'm scared. Test results for my one showed growth which isn't good. My therapist said I could call or email yesterday if I needed to, I poo-poo'd it. But after getting the results I couldn't call as my one was with me, so I sent a quick email and have heard nothing back. She is away now for a bit. I am very sad about this, angry too in a way. Don't offer me something please on/for an important day and then do nothing when I take advantage of that offer. I really feel quite insignificant and abandoned in a way. Sounds childish I know but honestly I'm questioning her sincerity. (trust is an issue for me anyhow) Then I'm trying to stay strong and in control all afternoon/evening/night and into this morning. But now, I'm breaking. Am unsure how I'm going to get through this. And the waiting on decisions for what to do is going to be hard. Hospice? more treatment? Don't these docs know they have peoples lives in their hands, however short or long they may be? I feel very alone right now. Scared. Alone.