i'm scared to live and i'm scared to die. no matter which i think about, i almost get a panic attack. when i think about life, i have no will to wake up anymore. but then when i think about death, i panic. i don't want to die. i don't want to be nothing forever. no matter which i decide to think of, i terrify myself. i just really wish i had something to live for which, in time, would give me something to die for. but i don't and never will.