I first attempted suicide several years ago, thought id worked through it and was left only dealing with a scared wrist which made me feel embarrassed when i could clearly see someone had noticed it then did their best not to look like they had... or someone was direct enough to ask about it. About 4 weeks ago i tried several times over the course of a week, both wrists this time, far worse than before, and seriously overdosing on different things on seperate occasions. Everyone that knew about my previous attempt thought i was ok. I had repeatedly told people i was ok. Id lied. The reaction now is one of masked disgust. People are trying to be really nice about it, but i can tell they are horrified. Not that i blame them. My arms are an absolute mess, i hate looking at them. They look horrible. I try and keep them covered even when im alone as i find them amazingly triggering. They are a permenant cause of shame for me. The whole series of events are. My family dont trust me at all, they clearly try make sure someone is in the house as much as possible so im not left alone which is indescribably humiliating. Hardly a story of suicide survival. More like suicide failure.