scars showing during sex

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by yourcoffinormine21, Jan 11, 2012.

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  1. yourcoffinormine21

    yourcoffinormine21 New Member

    Does having your scars visable when your having sex make anyone else uncomfortable? Especially if the person has never seen them before. I have very noticeable scars on my thigh and there's no way to really hide them.
     
  2. It doesn't really make me uncomfortable. Any guy I've slept with, I've told them about the scars beforehand (not in the context of "I hurt myself, please understand and help me" just "I have scars from self harm, I don't want to talk about it, deal with it if you want to sleep with me")
     
  3. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    It doesn't really make me feel uncomfortable anymore as I have been in a relationship for four and a half years and he knows I have issues. The only time I get a bit nervous is if he thinks I have been doing okay and I have new cuts/ scars on my legs.
     
  4. BK_Jetsfan

    BK_Jetsfan Well-Known Member

    Pretty much this. If they don't know that the scars are there, you really don't want the first time they learn of them to be the heat of the moment, or that heat will cool down REAL quick. Better to just say it up front, pretty much like that ^. Most women I've been with for whatever reason always want to see the scars anyway.
     
  5. ThinkingCap

    ThinkingCap Well-Known Member

    Wow BK, is that alright with you that they want to see your scars? I don't mean to pry, but it seems kind of insulting to me. And thanks to the rest of you, I have some new scars on my legs and haven't quite approached what would happen if I were to get intimate with someone before they go away, I appreciate reading your responses to this predicament.
     
  6. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I've had two friends ask to see my cuts/scars, which I thought was weird, but thinking about it I think they wanted to know how bad it is, so they know how to deal with it. I know of people who say they cut themselves, but it's barely scratches (doesn't mean their pain is any less, but I don't need to worry about them bleeding to death by accident), and others who are covered from the chest down and frequently need stitches. So I suppose some people need to know what they're dealing with, I guess.

    Mim
     
  7. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    As I am in a long term relationship, I don't feel "uncomfortable" but it is how he finds out.. I always feel bad when he sees them, and I try to refrain from sex after I have done it. But even that doesn't work as he figures something is up. He is very understanding and I know he hates it, but I think he understands why :hug: xx
     
  8. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    I wouldn't sleep with anyone who felt uncomfortable by it. Because it's part of who you are and you can't change it, so it's something they need to deal with.
     
  9. Bishop Vick

    Bishop Vick Member

    My wife tends to freak out a bit if she sees them, so I just cut on my ankles, and hide them by wearing socks. Her feet are usually cold, so she wears them too, and doesn't find it weird when I wear them.
     
  10. Raven

    Raven Guest

    I have no worries on this, no one will be that close again, I made that mistake once and I learn quickly. My scares remind me of my sins, and they are mine alone.
     
  11. letty

    letty Banned Member

    with my past relationship i told him about the cutting, so he knew about them before we were intimate, i was nervous thinking that he would freak out seeing the scars, but he understanding.
     
  12. aussiegal

    aussiegal Well-Known Member

    I am finding this quite difficult at the moment. My boyfriend has said that he can't handle me cutting. I stopped for a few months but I am finding it ever so hard. Its all I think about. I know i can find somewhere new to cut where he wont see day to day but it doesn't help during sex. I am so worried about upsetting him but the need to cut is starting to outweigh this worry.
     
  13. pogosticker

    pogosticker Well-Known Member

    I worry about this too.

    So far... the scars have gone unnoticed. They're right up and down my forearms, and if we do it in the dark or a room with bad lighting you can't really see them, and I just do my best to get them to not look at those areas.. but then there's the issue of them feeling them.. so again, I have to try not to brush up against them with my arms, and not let them touch me there.

    In a relationship, I wouldn't worry because I'd mention them anyway, as I'd be completely (well, almost) honest. The guy I was with was fine with it.

    But for casual sex... yeah, I worry about that. Don't judge me, but I would have a LOT of sex with different people if I didn't have these scars, but having them puts me off wanting random hookups in case the other person notices them and freaks out.
     
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