I hate my scars... other people hate them too. SO WHY DO I STILL DO IT? HELP ME GOD. I hate this... I'm sorry if this is sorta all over the place but I'm really in a bad place right now and it may not make any sense at all... but ill try anyway. well i've been cutting for a while, since i was five... but it got worse when i turned 12. then i went to secure treatment... blah blah. group homes and intensive treatment, mental hospitals... the whole nine fucking yards.... IT FUCKING SUCKS AND I WANT TO DIE. Now the hospitals and group homes are over because im 18, but i live with my dad now and he's a fucking ass hole sometimes even though i love him and he loves me we both have issues and im not even sure he loves me that much. God is punishing me for my actions (doing drugs, cutting etc.) and I am punishing myself for my actions as well... I have so many issues that I can never deal with... people want me to get involved... well i can't so I pick up a razor blade... the deeper the better, the more blood the better. IF POSSIBLE I WANT FUCKING SURGERY TO REPAIR IT. Now that may seem fucked up but its how i am and if you don't like it then don't fucking talk to me... I don't know why im like this... but I am... I hate my life and I make it worse all the time... its always something and one of these days the exacto knife is gonna go too far again I CAN'T FUCKING WAIT.