IDK what to do, I think I'm starting to feel depressed and unable to do anything. I broke down crying because my dad thinks I have a defeatist attitude. He doesn't want me to get on disability because it will prevent me from working. I've never worked guys, but I've been in college and did well until now. I withdrew three times in a row, and now my parents won't pay for college. They ARE paying for my brother's college education, but now is "not the right time for you" to be in college, which means I'll probably never have a degree or future. But my dad wants me to get a low pay job for experience, and I don't know where to start. I think I secretly have paranoid schizophrenia but my symptoms are so well managed through hard work and medication, that it's called an affective disorder, meaning it doesn't quite fit in with schizophrenia disorders. I've been in remission/recovered so much that my pdoc put me on stimulants, which is pure BS. Because they caused my symptoms to start getting worse than ever before, while shoving the bright happy future in my face of what I could accomplish if I didn't have symptoms of psychosis due to dopamine. I've had people tell me I should go into psychology because of my knowledge. I feel degraded when my dad was yelling "baby steps! simple steps! step by step! start small!" it feels like he's undermining my intelligence, and I keep saying that it's not fair that he wants me to find a shitty job but I can't take any shortcuts, meaning he doesn't want me to "Jump into a career" because that's not what he did, he had to work his way up from the bottom and now he's successful. But I'm not him! I'm not him I'm not like him and I don't know why he sets this ideals and advice over my head. Meanwhile, my mom is freaking mental and schizophrenic. Which leaves me completely isolated besides my dad to talk to. I broke down and told my dad I had a neurodegenerative disorder, which meant I wanted to appreciate the good things in life while I still can before my illness degrades or becomes worse. He didn't get that either. He doesn't get what I think, and he constantly has better advice for me. I'm sick of trying to be normal! I'm sick of trying to fit in with neurotypical people.