Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by cloudy, Sep 21, 2009.

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  1. cloudy

    cloudy Well-Known Member

    by the time i get through typing this my internet will be screwing up on me flickering in and out. i am seriously sick today and the only thing i can do is wait until the doctor's appointment on the 25th. i haven't been able to take trazodone in a number of consecutive days in order to benefit from the medication because i am worried about getting to class on time.

    i am letting everyone and everything get to me.

    examples are, a bus driver who does not like me. i don't give a shit about her reasons. i hadn't said or done anything to that person until today after being fed up with it all. a fat man walking by me heard me cussing at her from a distance and lit up a grin. that pissed me off. the n bus driver is one of those types that will drive away slowly from you and give you an evil look. i wasn't sure if that was going on but i was stupid enough to cross behind the bus without knowing if a car was coming. i looked both ways. i was so upset and didn't care if i got ran over.

    the clothing store that i was going to was closed for monday which made no fucking sense to me. so i wanted to cross out in front of a car and hope that the person fucking ran me over. i have dealt with so much harassment and i can;t take medicine long enough to get by. i had two mexican men yell at me out of a truck and two others on the way home thinking i was a harlot slowing down. i threw a soda can at one and cursed at him and kept walking.

    so i missed a class today.

    i don't know what to do anymore. i have dealt with 7 years of this shit because of some fucking supposed relatives whose guts i hate. the only fucking reason why people even care half the time is because of them and the other half is just a bunch of bullies.

    i just needed to get this out of my system. there is really nothing else i can do. except take my medicine and go to class groggy, wear sunglasses.thats it. i am worried that i am about to snap and i do not want to be institutionalized because i will end up failing my classes.
  2. drow21

    drow21 Active Member

    hi, i don't know if this will help, but im sorry for you, medication i think doesn't always help

    my advice is this, if the bus driver is an ass hole , get a bike, you don't need people thinking your something your not, don't let people push you about because they will , fight , fight with every breath

    you chose your friends not your family, as soon as you can if you want don't have anything to do with them

    good luck, n take care
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Phone your doctor and get an earlier appt get on cancellation list let them know you need to see someone now. Talk to councillors at your school they will give you support you need as well they can get someone to take notes for you on the days you are sick. Let them help you that way . Is there not a doctor in the school you are at that you can talk to as well. stay strong if you have to go to emerg and talk with doctor there just to get meds right.
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