• Please read the thread in Forum News and Announcements pertaining to race related discussion on SF - thank you :)

Schizoid Personality Disorder and how can I acquire it ?

Status
Not open for further replies.
P

ProzacDeathWish

#1
Although most of us here on the forum ( I assume ) would crave to be emotionally normal, being normal has its drawbacks. A normal person can still experience overwhelming despair, extreme rage, bitter jealousy, etc.

Having emotions, or at least extreme emotions, is still very much the destiny of even the average person. I am tired of it. It does not add to the experience of being alive in any meaningful way, it simply is a powerful force that must not be allowed to run amuck.

Read the posts here. Emotions must be controlled or we run the risk of letting them destroy us.

I have discovered a group of peculiar people whose mental disorder actually allows them to rise above this vulnerability. Persons who have Schizoid Personality Disorder are not psychotic, nor are they devoid of all emotion. They are not sociopaths.

Their emotions are for the most part very flat and muted. They are indifferent to either approval or disapproval. Also they do not desire the company of others. When they are alone,they are not lonely. They can navigate through any social setting and remain completely detatched and they expend no effort in doing so because that is their very nature.

It is as if they were able to reach inside their minds and push the mute
button that governs their emotions. I know that I am probably the only person on the entire forum who would want to be this way.

My emotions are killing me and it would be so much more preferable to
kill them instead.
 
Last edited:
P

ProzacDeathWish

#2
Hmmmmm. I see this is going nowhere :rolleyes: .

I must be worse off than I suspected. It's a strange feeling to be a misfit even among other misfits. :poke:
 

worlds edge

Well-Known Member
#3
Hmmmmm. I see this is going nowhere
Actually, I think the lack of replies may be due to the fact that I don't think anyone has any clue how you'd do this. I sure don't. But having said that, if you figure out how to do it, I'd seriously consider signing up for it as well. Sounds like a good thing, at least compared to the hamster wheel of emotions that spins around in my head sometimes. Seems close enough to a living death that it would moot the need for suicide AND hopefully be enough to avoid hurting those whom I care about...though I guess with this condition I'd no longer care about them?

Maybe someday via neurosurgery they'll be able to go in and zap off all the exact parts of the brain that control emotion, but I'm sure we're not there yet. And it would probably be a bear to find somebody willing who was also qualified to do it. I doubt the condition could be successfully mimicked by drugs at the present time, either. Not without nasty side effects.

I must be worse off than I suspected. It's a strange feeling to be a misfit even among other misfits. :poke:
Nah, I don't think its this. Some posts generate responses, some don't. Seems almost random. Plus it looks like Sunday is one of the slower days 'round here.
 

theleastofthese

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#6
Actually a lot of us DO dull our emotions/responses with substances: legal or illegal drugs, alcohol, video games, etc. Some veg out in front of the TV, others drink or smoke or indulge in other escapist modes, whether chemical or otherwise, but yes, it would be nice sometimes to not have such sensitive feelings...:sad:

least

I don't think you can "acquire" SPD, tho you could take depressants that would dull your feelings. That would be artificial, but would produce much the same result - that and cutting yourself off from most relationships... but that carries it's own results, and perhaps not always good ones. Just my opinion... Actually, a frontal lobotomy wil produce such results, along with some results that may not be desired... I have problems with my extreme sensitivity, but I think I'll keep it, rather than go for the opposite.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
P

ProzacDeathWish

#11
Good Stuff PDW, I would be happy to talk to you about it.
Yes I would like to question you about it, I am curious.

( For the record, I am aware that SPD is not something that can be acquired. My byline was meant to simply express my envious attitude and was not meant to be taken literally. )

Bob, I will PM you later though. I am really tired from having to face a personal crisis. I think I may just lurk around the forum for a while. Thanks comrade.
 
P

ProzacDeathWish

#12
Actually a lot of us DO dull our emotions/responses with substances: legal or illegal drugs, alcohol, video games, etc. Some veg out in front of the TV, others drink or smoke or indulge in other escapist modes, whether chemical or otherwise, but yes, it would be nice sometimes to not have such sensitive feelings...:sad:

least

I don't think you can "acquire" SPD, tho you could take depressants that would dull your feelings. That would be artificial, but would produce much the same result - that and cutting yourself off from most relationships... but that carries it's own results, and perhaps not always good ones. Just my opinion... Actually, a frontal lobotomy wil produce such results, along with some results that may not be desired... I have problems with my extreme sensitivity, but I think I'll keep it, rather than go for the opposite.


I have Avoidant Personality Disorder. This means that persons like myself are torn down the middle. We have the normal desire for human interaction, yet we have an intense fear of the very relationships that we crave. We also introspectively monitor ourselves much like a person with Social Anxiety, but unlike SA, we also monitor the people around us for signs of disapproval. It is very close to paranoia.

I know it sounds weird but emotional deadness isn't that scary to me anymore.
 

theleastofthese

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
#13
I think a lot of things get less scary the closer one gets to them...

If you have a bit of time to go thru Poet's Corner, back to late fall last year, I wrote a little short thing about if I had to choose between Pain and Nothing. No, it was last August and I called it Just A Thought. Voltaire or someone (??) once said, "If I had to choose between Pain and Nothing, I would always choose Pain." Not because I like pain, but because I want To Feel.

least xoxoxox

it's on pg 45 if you want to look at it.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
L

letdown

#14
Their emotions are for the most part very flat and muted. They are indifferent to either approval or disapproval. Also they do not desire the company of others. When they are alone,they are not lonely. They can navigate through any social setting and remain completely detatched and they expend no effort in doing so because that is their very nature.

It is as if they were able to reach inside their minds and push the mute
button that governs their emotions. I know that I am probably the only person on the entire forum who would want to be this way.

My emotions are killing me and it would be so much more preferable to
kill them instead.
They've usually killed or got used to killing parts of themselves in childhood, not by choice but to survive.

My experience of SPD is very different from diagnostic criteria and it's not so simple as being self sufficient. I relate it a lot to my experience of anorexia. It is deadening and sucks the life out of you. It may seem safe and impartial but it's like living a half-death.


All the best.
 
P

ProzacDeathWish

#15
They've usually killed or got used to killing parts of themselves in childhood, not by choice but to survive.

My experience of SPD is very different from diagnostic criteria and it's not so simple as being self sufficient. I relate it a lot to my experience of anorexia. It is deadening and sucks the life out of you. It may seem safe and impartial but it's like living a half-death.


All the best.

I will factor in your comments into my knowledge of this so-called disorder. I find it equally informative to visit their forum ( which I have been doing ) to read their personal comments. Quite a large percentage of the threads express anything but regret and many consider SPD to be something that actually provides them an advantage over others who are pushed and pulled
by the force of their every emotional whim. A significant number do not consider it a handicap in the least....it's just who they are and they don't feel the need to alter it ( they can't btw, as it is genetic in origin. They are born that way. )

PS, they do not mask their emotions, their emotions barely exist to begin with. Because they are fully cognizent of their unique status they ususally fake emotions simply in order to fit in.
 
Last edited:
L

letdown

#16
I will factor in your comments into my knowledge of this so-called disorder. I find it equally informative to visit their forum ( which I have been doing ) to read their personal comments. Quite a large percentage of the threads express anything but regret and many consider SPD to be something that actually provides them an advantage over others who are pushed and pulled
by the force of their every emotional whim. A significant number do not consider it a handicap in the least....it's just who they are and they don't feel the need to alter it ( they can't btw, as it is genetic in origin. They are born that way. )

PS, they do not mask their emotions, their emotions barely exist to begin with. Because they are fully cognizent of their unique status they ususally fake emotions simply in order to fit in.

Yes I am fully aware.

There is a lot of debate and literature out there about this.

My girlfriend echoed a lot of those thoughts you talk of a few years ago. In my depressed state I 'admired' her a lot at times. :) It's strange once you get to really know someone their 'disorder' is a lot more understandable....and love and trust appear.


Take care
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Please Donate to Help Keep SF Running

Total amount
$90.00
Goal
$255.00
Top