I think I have a mild version of Schizophrenia. I'm very paranoid, have cognitive functioning problems, and just have general "mentally off" behavior. It really hits me hard sometimes. I feel so isolated (I've made myself that way). I know I've lost touch with reality, and with my emotions.
It's like I am some inhuman shell, waiting to be filled. When you know you have an illness, such as this, it's very hard to not think of suicidal thoughts. Being Schizo is not like have Clinical Depression, it's not socially accepted. Having lost touch with my humanity, while still being human, is...painful and isolating to say the least.
I've shut myself off from the world because of my paranoia/agoraphobia. But, I wish I could let my guard down, and feel connected to someone. If even once. I realize this might sound like ranting from some crazy person, but that's how I "feel."
It's like I am some inhuman shell, waiting to be filled. When you know you have an illness, such as this, it's very hard to not think of suicidal thoughts. Being Schizo is not like have Clinical Depression, it's not socially accepted. Having lost touch with my humanity, while still being human, is...painful and isolating to say the least.
I've shut myself off from the world because of my paranoia/agoraphobia. But, I wish I could let my guard down, and feel connected to someone. If even once. I realize this might sound like ranting from some crazy person, but that's how I "feel."