Schizophrenic Voices and Paranoia

[SuicidalGrim]

While my reluctance is the result of my own personal discomposure, I still feel compelled to engage in a dialog over my ill condition. So in order to address the issue I would think it wise to simply begin by immediately discussing the problem at hand. That being, that the inner workings of my mind are intruded upon by things for which I have no control over. Multiple voices shouting to me a disturbing thoughts and suggestions. I've had them for a great many years but this was do to my isolation as a young adult, due to my insane parents who thought it best to keep me in a room from age 13 to 20. When I finally escaped my confine and obtained a life for myself, the metaphorical door for which these intruders were to enter remained relatively shut. But recent circumstances have delivered to me the identical stress driven infuriation that allows the door to swing open. Last night had an amplitude for which I've not seen in 6 months. "See, they boss you around", "They're lying to you", "Kill them", and a barrage of the same old rederik that plagued me for years and at one point, convinced me to self injure.

Whether related or not, my irrational paranoia has been getting the best of me as well. More often then not I find myself clutching my knives in anticipation for someone I assume to be following me down the street. Glancing through the sliver of vision on my side eye, I track their movements as I walk around town. All the while carefully listening to the frequency of their footsteps always waiting for a quickening pace. However, this is merely one of many examples. In either case I would greatly appreciate some assistance.

I don't know how long I can maintain the facade of a stable individual.

 

[ggg456]

What were the recent circumstances? Perhaps looking into the recent circumstances and how they might parallel with your past might be helpful? Who are 'they'?

I know what helps me is looking at/thinking about what happens before makes the unhelpful persecutory voices and the thoughts of being followed less scary and less frightening and more something I can deal with and manage.

Do you see any kind of therapist at all?

 

[SuicidalGrim]

What were the recent circumstances? Perhaps looking into the recent circumstances and how they might parallel with your past might be helpful? Who are 'they'?

I know what helps me is looking at/thinking about what happens before makes the unhelpful persecutory voices and the thoughts of being followed less scary and less frightening and more something I can deal with and manage.

Do you see any kind of therapist at all?

Money related issues and the possibility of being homeless. They refers to my friends.

I'm niether fearfull nor sadded by my voices. It's more the auditory suggestivness of their statments that drives the homicide/suicidal thinking/paranoid.

No. Never will. I don't have the money or time nor will I let them commit me for the way I think or push poorly tested, mind warping drugs on to me.

 

[ggg456]

Ok. I meant a therapist that won't push drugs. I know about people pushing drugs on me and not wanting that too.

It sounds stressful- money related things and homelessness. I went through similar things. I felt a lot like you when I was stressed up like that and did nearly kill myself. I had a great therapist though that didn't push drugs and helped me get through it all.

Personally, I do a lot of things to get the voices out of my head if I don't like them. If it's the sound of the voices that I hate, I try and perhaps mimic it outside of myself to get it out and see what happens. A lot is trial and error and just experimenting. I do a lot of visualisation work to get whatever it is that is bothering me out rather than in, or perhaps even working with the sound/or whatever is bothering me....

The feeling of having all these things attacking you from the outside-in, and wanting to push all that from the inside-out, in any way possible

I'm not sure of that's of any help but I wish you all the best.

 

[delerious]

hmm, i experience a similar thing..
i hear a voice..just one. it says bads things and often makes me hurt myself. i think really the only thing we can do is to try and push it away, don't let it inside that door. once one is aware of it, i think it is alot easier.
maybe it's different for you, but before i realised that's what it was it completely took me over, i thought it was normal. now i can make it stop alot easier...

also therapy can be good..i have seen a number of psychologists for free, none of which have really pushed drugs onto me.