School found out...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by LenaLunacy, Sep 9, 2008.

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  1. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Today my psychology teacher saw a book i was reading about cutting and self-mutilation.
    She held me back after class and asked about it, she asked if i was worried about a friend and i came clean with her and told her i do it. And have been for 3 years.
    She said that she could help me a little bit cos she has some knowledge and she will try and set up some out of school councilling for me. But she has to tell my head of sixth form.
    And i'm really stressing that they will tell my mom :/ Seriously she couldn't be more unsupportive if she tried with regards to emotions and self harm. I can't have her find out. Some of my friends said cos of student confidentiality they shouldn't tell her, but others have said they may well have the right. :/ I'm so scared :unsure:
  2. DrowningInTears

    DrowningInTears Well-Known Member

    thats awfully scarry. thats why i dont trust any of these 'professionals' they are more worries about covering their own legal asses than what they will do to you as a person.

    :hug: however hope it turns out for the best
  3. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    My parents found out through my school telling them. In the end I got some help. It's hard but it might be for the best :hug:
  4. Hazibell

    Hazibell Well-Known Member

    I know when this happened in my school, they asked me if I wanted them to be with me when I tell her, or if I wanted to tell her at all.
    They should do that. If they think you're in danger or suicide or anything, thats when they might tell them. But they should ask first I think if its self harm.
  5. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    The only way to go about it is to ask her clearly if she will report your doings to your parents or if it will remain confidential. If not confidential tell her you are out and will refuse any form of help on her part coz you cant trust her. that will fix things up.

  6. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    My psychology teacher found out about my SH as well, and my suicidal thoughts. She told the head of sixth form, like with you, but at my request went no further than that, and they helped me get some support in school.

    I'm glad you told them. It's a brave thing to do. Take care, I hope it all works out for the best.
  7. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    I personally don't know the answer to your question but others have replied to give their thoughts and experiences. I just want to say well done for confessing all to your teacher. That in itself was hard to do I bet but she reacted in a good way to it and didn't look down on you. It's good this has somewhat come out into the open and hopefully you'll be on the road to receiving support you could do with. It's natural to feel scared about it reaching the parents but perhaps it wouldn't be all that of a bad thing. I don't know your parents, but it could be better than hiding it and they could be more supportive about the whole thing than you are fearing.

  8. purplefizz

    purplefizz Senior Member

    That was incredibly brave of you. I know that must have been difficult.

    I don't know about student confidentiality, but I doubt she will tell your mom. The counselor may contact your mom after you guys have talked, though.

    Good luck. I hope you're able to get some help.
  9. The_8th_Wonder

    The_8th_Wonder senior Member

    Good luck and in the end it should be better for you.

    My school doesn't even give a shit if people self harm themselves so it's nice to see a school that actually does care.
  10. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the advice.
    My parents will not be supportive. Back when i first told them i was self harming, three years ago, she flipped out,yelled at me, told me i was selfish etc. And then she told me i had to stop and that was it. She's awful and if she finds out i am killing myself cos i cannot live thru that.
  11. Chernarus

    Chernarus Well-Known Member

    help does more harm then good at least thats always been the case for me.
  12. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Had the meeting with my head of 6th form today and basically she said that i could talk to her if i needed, or my psych teacher, but that they were not experts and wanted me to get outside help. Which i cant do cos i have issues with booking appointments over the phone or in person. So i'm all on my own to deal with it again
  13. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Not meaning to play down your psych teacher but all they are is someone with a psychology degree and a PGCE. I have a psychology degree but unless they have further training such as counselling then stay away from them as they are not trained and wont know how to support you. Having a psychology degree does not make you qualified to discuss things like that. It annoys me as when I have seen people like doctors or nurses who have not done psychology they assume that as I have done that I should know better! RAH!!!!
  14. Ozibuna

    Ozibuna Well-Known Member

    You know, i never actually did find out what is the exact purpose of a psychologist, i mean what's written in his or hers job description, especially for a school psychologist. I guess they have to tell your parents if it is something that big for quite a few reasons:

    1. The child may be highly unstable and psychologist is scared he won't do much help. Thus if something bad happens, he'll be the first one to blame(in a sick twisted kind of way)

    2. I'm sure everyone has heard these words before in one way or the other: "What gives you the right to tell my kid what to do or to meddle in our family's affairs?", whenever someone tries to help a kid without the parent's approval (you can just as easily be the class colleague of the person in cause, if something bad happens you will hear those words)

    3. Don't really know if it's a right comparison but i'll give it a shot. A few years ago , in Holland, a organization or political party or something, tried to lower the legal age of a teenager at which it can have sex with an adult to 10 or 12 or something like that (or maybe even lower i don't remember clearly), and some other things similar to that. The spokesperson for that group was a old ugly dried-up piece of...anyway a old guy who was saying that kids know what they like or not like better then their parents, so if parents told their 9 year old girl "it's not ok to do that or even think about that" when she clearly said she'd like that the parents are wrong. Of course, the kid has no idea what he's getting into, which is why the parents come and sort things out. Anyway the point is that at certain moments in life you may not be in a clear state of mind which may/will lead to some very very bad decisions for you and those around you. From what i've seen here there have been quite a few people that have lost their suicidal thoughts and found more then enough reasons to live being quite happy with their decisions and thankful that they didn't go ahead with them (a.k.a. a clearer state of mind).

    You'll have to face your parents eventually and deal with your choices, that is after all the benefit of free will, unforeseen consequences (hehe really wanted to say that). In the end take into consideration that they do love you and they just don't know how to react or how to deal for that matter, to such a thing (hence the unsupportive reactions). You can just as well add all types of stress to the equation, work stress, daily life stress and so on and so forth, since they are after all just humans and they do have problems of their own.
  15. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    A psychologist isn't just someone who has studied psychology they have further training in like clinical or counselling psychology.

    I'm in a weird mood. I am going to do some dancying (tidy and dancing at same time)
  16. Ozibuna

    Ozibuna Well-Known Member

    Hehe now that's one good mood :D
  17. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    not really - i made more of a mess. I have to move as my bf broke up with me and was meant to move in wit him. He left it til the last min to tell me. tis amazing how much stuff you accumulate in 9 months. Going from a flat of my own to one room at my parents. I think the garage will be used lots of things.

    I get my grades for my psychology degree in a few weeks. Hope to actually study further in the area. I want to do clinical psychology which will mean I am qualified to give advice and talk to people like me. that makes me laugh!
  18. Ozibuna

    Ozibuna Well-Known Member

    So basically you'll never have a problem as you always know what to do:D
  19. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Well apparatnly as I study psychology I must be intelligent and I should know better -

    So me thinks more studying is needed!
  20. shoekstra1419

    shoekstra1419 Member

    its ok no matter what but ask the teacher if shes telling i dont think they have a right to personally
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