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School Problems

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Back in 4th grade I was a bully, part in a group and picking on others not for fun,it was becuase Id rather not the one being picked on. I feel as if karma is out to get me, now I am getting bullied,teased,made fun of.
They call me fat but I know I have realy skinnied now,they call me a retard cuase I act wierd for attention,its basicly my friends and basicly everybody I have come to contact with. I am always been called a loser and it is making my grades lower,my friend list lower,and I feel as if everybody hates my guts and as if I dont belong.
Im like a voice nobody can hear, my screams of pain inside me our busting.
I told the princible and if my freinds do it again,they go to jail cuase it counts as abuse to others (TOLD BY POLICE OFFICER)
I have always had an idea of me standing infront of class during work or something and blowing my brains out right infront of everybody for fun, to show them what they have made me become. I havnt even told my parents cuase they over react :unsure:
I need help, what do you beileve I should do?

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
I think you should go to the school councillor and tell them how much pain is inside you and that you are t hinking about harming yourself. The school councillor will help you okay so please tell someone so you can stay safe tell the principal a teacher a friend but don't let these bullies have that kind of control okay Talking getting some therapy for you will help the best
I could try, but I already told the principal, he took my friends (SOME OF THE ONES BULLYING) and they go to jail next cuase its harm to others. One named Patrick said he was sorry and he shouldnt have done it but the others have anger issues and I dont think they liked it, but they havnt mentioned it in atleast 3 days, but its also the whole school.
Mostly the girls, no girl in my school likes me but atleast 3 out of about 50+ so I dont know, even if I tell the counsler it wont help, they will still do it, its like climbin steps by steps but I always fall back down the stairs, hard to go again with soemthing hurt without pain
You're in High School I'm assuming. It's like that for almost everyone. Everyone feels pressure, especially at that age. I've been bullied before. Eventually I faced it and fought the fucker who would pick on me everyday. Unfortunately if that guy you fight has friends, then it's never ending. Lots of kids go through what you've described.

Not every girl in the school hates you
Not every student wants to ignore you.

You're just telling yourself that. Just remind yourself that you aren't alone. Especially at that age. You could always find after school activities. It's a great way to meet people, you have to make the first move. Most bullies aren't in those programs and you'll be able to meet much nicer people.
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