starting high school really was the thing that has done this to me. in primary school i was so happy and friends with everyone. then i hit high school, everything changed. i couldnt make friends, i wasnt top of the class anymore and my parents were spliting up at home. then i made friends with this one girl. and she became my best friend, then suddenly she really did just turn on me. she randomly hated me and started to turn people against me. she killed me inside. i was pushed so far that i lost all sense of myself. this is when i started to cut. i couldnt even bring myself to leave my room anymore. and then when i did manage to make it into school the teachers were a pile of shit. at this point all i wanted was someone to ask me how i was. but no one ever did. and i was so isolated. then i moved schools and things didnt get better. i was seen as ''different'' and i knew i couldnt be my true self and became even more distant from everyone. once in class, someone had wrote ''rachael is fat'' on the wall where i sat. grrr. i hate how i still think back to that. lots of shit like that happened. and to this day i remember it all. every last hurt feeling inside of me lasts. everyone since high school has fucked me about as well. seems im jst destined for this. i just cant cope anymore. i think if one more person hurts me ill jst be tipped over the edge. im balancing right now, and im getting unstable. i just wish some people would realise how much they hurt people. i know i havent been through as much as alot of people, but i am still dying inside. i cant handle life anymore. im alone. and i cant do this anymore.