I'm only in high school but I feel like my life is already over. My grades are getting lower and lower and bringing down my gpa. I'm not even that smart anymore and I feel like everybody's better than me. I don't feel like I have anything special to offer. Applying for colleges makes me go crazy with fear. I have already developed trichotillomania (hair pulling disorder) from all my depression. My parents don't even understand. They were both smart and successful. I just keep lying to them about how I'm doing in school. They say they will listen but then they just yell at me or hit me. My parents hate that I pull my hair and sometimes my mom gets so mad that she starts yanking my hair saying that I don't even deserve any hair at all. My dad keeps telling me how fat I am and how lazy I am. He just tells me that I'm worthless and will never go anywhere in life and end up working in a McDonald's. I keep putting things off and when I do I get even more stressed and pull my hair more. My friends are nice but they have no idea how I feel. Most days I just feel like dying. There's no point in going on when I'm just doomed to be a failure. There's no way I'm ever going to a good college or getting a good job. I hate myself and the way I look. I have been exercising regularly for so long but I haven't gotten any results. I am painfully shy in school because I always feel judged by everyone else because I am dumb and ugly and fat. I have no idea how to deal with how I'm feeling. I asked my mom to look for a therapist but she just keeps saying that I'm just being overdramatic. I hate my whole family and I feel so alone all the time. I'm always hiding how I really feel.