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Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by FeelAlone123, Mar 6, 2013.

  1. FeelAlone123

    FeelAlone123 New Member

    I'm only in high school but I feel like my life is already over. My grades are getting lower and lower and bringing down my gpa. I'm not even that smart anymore and I feel like everybody's better than me. I don't feel like I have anything special to offer. Applying for colleges makes me go crazy with fear. I have already developed trichotillomania (hair pulling disorder) from all my depression. My parents don't even understand. They were both smart and successful. I just keep lying to them about how I'm doing in school. They say they will listen but then they just yell at me or hit me. My parents hate that I pull my hair and sometimes my mom gets so mad that she starts yanking my hair saying that I don't even deserve any hair at all. My dad keeps telling me how fat I am and how lazy I am. He just tells me that I'm worthless and will never go anywhere in life and end up working in a McDonald's. I keep putting things off and when I do I get even more stressed and pull my hair more. My friends are nice but they have no idea how I feel. Most days I just feel like dying. There's no point in going on when I'm just doomed to be a failure. There's no way I'm ever going to a good college or getting a good job. I hate myself and the way I look. I have been exercising regularly for so long but I haven't gotten any results. I am painfully shy in school because I always feel judged by everyone else because I am dumb and ugly and fat. I have no idea how to deal with how I'm feeling. I asked my mom to look for a therapist but she just keeps saying that I'm just being overdramatic. I hate my whole family and I feel so alone all the time. I'm always hiding how I really feel.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Of course you feel like a failure when people are constantly putting you down...please continue to insist that she finds someone for you...you are NOT being dramatic, it fact you are smarter than they are...also, please express how you feel here...there are many people who clearly relate to what you are going through...and lastly, please do not preclude having a good future...you can do many wonderful things once you find what will interest you...welcome and please continue to post
  3. FeelAlone123

    FeelAlone123 New Member

    Thank you so much for your support. You are the first person who takes me seriously and doesn't just think I'm some sort of drama queen
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I don't think you are a drama queen hun. I think you are suffering and in pain and need help to heal. There are councilors at your highschool hun talk to them ok. The will help you get support for your anxiety and stress if your mother does not get you help. Keep talking here hun we do understand hugs to you
  5. Tanee

    Tanee Active Member

    I had a very similar situation when I was in high school - a fantastic first step is to find a counselor in your school that you feel like you can trust. Even if you don't find one that you trust, any of them can point you in the right direction. Mine pointed me to group therapy that met up once every 2 weeks and really helped to keep me from going full-aggro on everybody I knew.

    If that doesn't work, you can always try to speak to your family doctor about it. I did that as well and was put on depression medication.

    Another option - that should really be a FINAL option - is to just admit yourself for in-patient.This is was my final straw that really helped my parents to see I actually HAD A PROBLEM.

    Good luck to you, love.
  6. FeelAlone123

    FeelAlone123 New Member

    We do have a special counselor at our school who helps with crisis and special situations. But I'm too scared to go and talk to her. I don't what to say to her or what might happen if I talk to her
  7. livluvphoto

    livluvphoto New Member

    Never let anybody tell you that you are a drama queen over that, because you have every right in the world to feel that way. You are smart, talented, beautiful and extremely strong. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Lots of people are dealing with this, you are not alone. Have faith in yourself. You are still so young. When you did what you really like, got for it. The sky is the limit. You are amazing, and forget about what your parents think. You will feel worthless when people constantly put you down, especially the ones you love. Stay strong. Best of luck.