Scratching open my old scars, wanting to do it again...

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by neens, Sep 27, 2010.

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  1. neens

    neens Member

    About nine months ago, I started cutting myself. It started as an act to keep myself from suiciding. The feeling was in the start great, and the feel and sight, the warmness, of my own blood satisfied me in a way that felt very good. But as the months went, the cuts went deeper. I jumped everytime someone touched me, I felt this wasent good for me anymore. So a little more than three months ago, I decided to stop. I took longer and longer time between each cuts, and on a friday I cut myself really really deep. I got to the hospital and lied there for a week. After I came home I throwed away my old blades.

    Now I feel better, but I've started scratching on my scars, with my long nails. It itched, and while scratching my scars, I felt that feeling again. The andrealine pumping through my body, the blood flowing down my hand. I really feel like I want to do it again, but something inside me says I shouldnt.

    I dont know if I should start again, or if I should resist even longer. The second one sounds like the obvious answer, but I still wants to...

    What should I do?

    EDIT: I was the one who called 911 after that deep cut
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 27, 2010
  2. emilymdh

    emilymdh Member

    im really sorry you're feeling this way. stopping cutting was a very good thing that you did. you sound like a very strong person who CAN get through this with success. try stopping again, but if you get the urge, just scratch yourself until the feeling goes away. whatever you do, do not cut so deep that you harm yourself in a serrious way. and if you ever feel like talking to anyone, i am here. there are people in your life that love you and care about you and dont want you to feel like this. maybe you should see a doctor? get some help on finding a therapist/councellor? and if not.. again, i am here, and i do care about you. please be strong, and dont give up. try your hardest not to cut.. you can do this.
  3. XsweetpoetX

    XsweetpoetX Well-Known Member

    I can undertand what youre going through. I stopped cutting a few months ago,and when things get hard I wanna start again. It used to make me feel so much better,but I was so ashamed. What helped me was channeling all of my negative energy into my writing or something. Just try to do something positive.
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