Screaming for the help I'll never get

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Repeat36, Mar 22, 2015.

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  1. Repeat36

    Repeat36 Member

    I'm sick and tired of asking for the help I never get. I've tried so many different things and everyone just doesn't care. I've gotten to the point where the things that usually hold me back, don't anymore. Nothing's holding me back. This sounds bad but I feel no remorse for the people I'm gonna hurt, I used to get upset thinking about hurting them but now I don't. I don't care who I hurt and that's incredibly selfish I know but I just stopped feeling guilty. I'll lie here in bed thinking its probably gonna be within the next few days and when I picture it, I start crying. I don't know why, I'm not scared, I'm not worried and I don't feel bad anymore. I think I'm crying because I'm sad it's gotten to this point. I'm crying because I'm sad that no one wants to help me, even the times I've ended up in hospital they didn't medicate me or have follow up counselling sessions. I'm crying because I'm sad that I mean nothing to everybody
  2. Endlessagony

    Endlessagony Well-Known Member

    It's scary as hell being in pain and having no one understand that pain. I can relate to doctors/therapists that don't really listen or care. It can take some time to find proper help but it is out there. Keep posting here and vent your pain, other people who are in the same position will understand and care. Things can change for the better, in the meantime try to express your feelings to people who will listen.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hear you i do and it so wrong what some doctors do to their patients make them feel less then human

    They are the ones that are useless no you hun. Can you get someone to fight for you maybe go to a different hospital and see if a different doctor will take care of you.

    You deserve kindness and understanding you will get that here ok You are numb rightnow but don't harm yourself over them ok
    don't leave because of their inability to care. You stay here with us where we all understand and will try to give you the support you deserve hugs
  4. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Sorry you feel that way. I am not familiar with how Australia mental health system work so cant basically suggest anything.

    You mentioned not getting medications. Did you want to try them?

    And do you know sign language? Just asking because of your avatar.
  5. Repeat36

    Repeat36 Member

    Thank you all <3
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 23, 2015
  6. Repeat36

    Repeat36 Member

    I've only been on this forum for a day and it's already helped me so much
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 23, 2015
  7. Repeat36

    Repeat36 Member

    Apparently these feelings never really go away but you learn to control them, I feel the furtherest from in control :/
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 23, 2015
  8. Repeat36

    Repeat36 Member

    Thank you, and that's what I love about this forum. The things that I normally keep to myself can be posted here without fear of judgement or fear of being ignored
  9. Repeat36

    Repeat36 Member

    This really spoke to me, thank you!
  10. Repeat36

    Repeat36 Member

    I heard someone say that those types of meds saved their mums life, I wanted to try it but I hear about things like SSRI's are a mind control plot devised by the pharmaceutical industry and while I don't believe in that, I've also heard that it can numb your soul. Humans have always used mind altering substances and antidepressants are merely the latest incarnation. Have you read Brave New World? These new miracle medications are nothing but Soma, a government-produced narcotic to blot out individuality and dissent. Soma was created to make everyone feel happy, it's supposed to fix everything. Your not content at work? You take some soma and nothing bothers you. Your mum dies? Take some soma and everything's fine. But that futuristic society where everyone is drugged to feel happy, all the time no matter what happens, it's horrible, monstrous even. It's like the end of humanity because we're supposed to feel things. It's odd how even though I'd love to feel better, I don't know if I'd want to take meds for these reasons, I'm probably overreacting and being dramatic but those are the things I think of when I think of antidepressants. I can't speak sign language, it's the universal hand sign for 'rock and roll' and I'm a big rock/metal fan
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there and welcome to the forum,

    I really feel for you. So much bad thoughts going on in your mind. Try and get yourself out there and demand help and treatment. If you ever want to talk you are more than welcome to talk to me.

    We are here, we care and we will listen.
  12. may71

    may71 Well-Known Member

    A lot of mental health professionals either burn out or have to put some distance between themselves and their patients to be able to deal with it. Some may just go into it for the money (or the power trip), but at least some go into it with the desire to help.

    Often times the people around you, and especially family, are the a big part of the reason why people feel suicidal in the first place. Either they are assholes or they aren't capable dealing with problems.

    There's a lot to criticize about medications, but they're a much better option than suicide. The link in my signature has more info about some other options. Getting into therapy is probably a good idea if you aren't in therapy now.
  13. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    It can be a double edged sword. Mmm for the sign here in the US it means I love you sign with thumb out. For rock n roll it's thumb tucked in the USA. Always learning something new internationally
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