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screaming silently

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New Member
I thought the "Let it all out" place would be a good place to submit my first post, this way people can get to know a little bit about me and why exactly I stumbled upon this site.

Well I'm a 19 year old guy who is secretly bisexual, I hate that about me and will never have a relationship with a guy due to the fact that I think it is wrong. I'm not good for very much, I pretty much lie about myself all the time to cover up for the fact that I am not intelligent, not strong, not good looking, and not a very fun person to be around. Now heres the tough part that I get all the time "Why do you feel that way about yourself?" well I do because it is all true, I won't deny it any longer, I am good for absolutely nothing except playing video games and giving other people advise that I do not know how to take myself. I have accepted the fact that I will one day kill myself when I have the courage and I am not afraid of that fact anymore, however I will not kill myself until I move far enough away from my family and friends for them to forget about me.
How I found this site, well first I decided I was going to slit my wrist and then I decided not to because I am to weak to accept the physical pain that comes with it, then I decided to look up other (less painfull ways to finish the job) then I found this site. I don't know why but I am drawn to partake in the discussion here, maybe it is because I don't really want to die, but instead want to learn how to live, but I'm not even sure if that is true or not. I guess only time will tell me, but If I die before I find out, it's all good, I won't minde I am kind of anxious to see if there is an after life or not anyway. Well, everyone here is my post I hope to get to know some of you.

oh and now that I look at it I shouldn't of choosen this name, you see I am not a person who is already registered with a different name, but I choose this name because this is the side of me that people in Real Life won't ever see. Sorry if I confused anyone
Hello there! :welcome:
I hope you will find this site helpful and you will get some support from it.
Regarding what you said - how you are no good for anything - have you tried everything there is and found that you are not good in it? You can never know what you'll find out about yourself, you can never know what will happen in the future that will bring out things from you that you never knew were there.
Please take care and don't be so harsh on yourself! :hug:
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