:: Screams!! ::

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by insanity_is_my_sane, Nov 25, 2006.

  1. AH!! AH!! AH!!

    i can't take her anymore! i can't take the both of them. i would love to say that i hate them both, but in saying so i feel like a total witch. they're family. they are my mother & my sister. and yet, i can't stand either one of them.

    it isn't jealousy. not at all. it's sheer hatred. :mad:

    she gets away with everything! literally. she is 2-yr's younger than me, way more out of control, and yet - it's all my fault. how? i don't get it. why is she allowed to do all the things i was never allowed to do?

    i take the blame for all of her mistakes. i let my mother flip out on me for her own stupid acts. why do i do it? because i feel like, in some way or another, it is my responsibility as her older sister to "protect" her. i'm so tired of doing it, though. i want to see her get yelled at like i do. i want to see her get thrown out of the house like i did. i want to see her get disowned, like i am currently once again.

    my mother dislikes me strongly. the last time things got this bad, we didn't speak for months. i have a feeling that this time around it could turn into years. i hate how i walk in the house after working a 9-hr shift at work & i don't get a word of acknowledgment. not even a simple "hello." but a couple of minutes after my arrival, my sister walks in from a day of ice skating & hanging with friends & my mother goes on to ask her a million questions about her day.

    what about mine? :blub:

    it is so frustrating. i try so hard to make my mother happy & proud of me. perhaps, i try too hard. idk? but it angers me so much how easily forgiven she is. even more, i hate how she is never blamed for to begin with.

    i hate having my mother threaten to call the cops on me. i hate how she tells me i am not allowed to step foot in her house or how i don't have a place to call home as long as she is around. i feel so unimportant to my family.

    i feel so - unloved - by the people i love most.

    i'm just so upset right now. it hurts, a lot.
     
  2. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    do unto others as you'd have them do unto you. i.e, if you want your mother to love you and appreciate you, that means you do just that to her. show her you love her and appreciate her. if you want someone to ask you for forgiveness, ask them for forgiveness. this law can change the world. become the stronger soul that breaks that viscious cycle and don't stoop low to the level of wanting to get even with anyone. if you do this, you will grow further and be blessed more, coz its all a test. this temporary life is a test. i must warn you this is not easy to do. thanks. good luck.