screw life, i dont care anymore.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by dyingtoolive, May 12, 2009.

  1. dyingtoolive

    dyingtoolive Member

    im so sick of my mom, and i think the reason for my brothers suicide was because of her.
    that was harsh but i dont give a fuck, she deserves it. if you knew her, you'd think so too.
    for an example today we went to my other sibling's house and she said the exact opposite
    of what i was saying, so it was kind of like she WANTED a fight. so of corse me, i said some
    things then she "stormed" off outside, so i went out there too and she started to scream at
    me. she said things like i was an embarassment to her. and that i was ugly as fuck. man
    even one time she said she wished i was dead!!!!! blahh. i dont give a fuck anymore. right
    now i actually wish i was gone instead of daniel!!!! i think shes retarded or something cause
    when we got back to the house, she tried to talk to me like nothings wrong. LIKE WTF she
    just yelled at me.. and whenever me and her get into a fight, it was daniel who would always
    come into my room and hug me, stick up for me and just comfort me when im crying. now
    hes gone, so i dont got anyone!! this fucking sucks. plus i wish i could go to the docters.. i
    mean theres no problem going, but im scared. i dont know what to sayy.. or anything. im sick
    of crying every single dayy and im especially sick of life! and i dont know why.. whenever shes
    mad.. she picks on me!! ALWAYS. even her at the time boyfriend, told her to calm down and
    he even was sticking up for me! plus when i was young.. i had my first suicide attempt. i had
    cut my wrists really bad.. she caught me and we went to the hospital.. i said i slipped so they
    believed me and then when we got home, she sent me to my sisters. and that was it. she
    didnt say " ohh im here for you " nothing like that. its like im the black sheep of the family.i
    dont know what to do. im just counting the days til i die, i hope she knows shes killing me.
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm sorry she treats you so bad. Is there any way you can get away from her so you don't have to deal with her all the time?
  3. dyingtoolive

    dyingtoolive Member

    yeah in my room.
    other than that.. nope everyones to busy for me.
  4. xelz

    xelz Member

    How old are you?

    When I was growing up I had a similar home-life. I know how much that fighting can eat away at you. How hard it is to leave school, or anywhere, and come home.

    Let me say this, there is no reason why you should dread coming home. If you're still young, talk to someone. I know when I was a kid I would always hear that shit on TV. "Call kids help line," and I would always believe that shit wasn't for me. But looking back now, it was.

    However, before you do, try to put things into perspective. Is this constant, is this daily? Is there somewhere else you could go, grandparents, uncles, aunts? How many more years until you are 18 and can leave home?
  5. dyingtoolive

    dyingtoolive Member

    i dont want my mom to know that i called them, and i never know what to say.
    im 17. and yes its daily. im not scared to go home, im just..i dont know..sick
    of know?..blahh. i dont have a big family. 1 uncle, 2 brothers.. except
    one of them passed away, and two sisters ( one sister lives out of the country,
    and my other sister has to many kids and no room available for me )
  6. xelz

    xelz Member

    Well, you're almost 18. Get out of there as soon as you can