im so sick of my mom, and i think the reason for my brothers suicide was because of her. that was harsh but i dont give a fuck, she deserves it. if you knew her, you'd think so too. for an example today we went to my other sibling's house and she said the exact opposite of what i was saying, so it was kind of like she WANTED a fight. so of corse me, i said some things then she "stormed" off outside, so i went out there too and she started to scream at me. she said things like i was an embarassment to her. and that i was ugly as fuck. man even one time she said she wished i was dead!!!!! blahh. i dont give a fuck anymore. right now i actually wish i was gone instead of daniel!!!! i think shes retarded or something cause when we got back to the house, she tried to talk to me like nothings wrong. LIKE WTF she just yelled at me.. and whenever me and her get into a fight, it was daniel who would always come into my room and hug me, stick up for me and just comfort me when im crying. now hes gone, so i dont got anyone!! this fucking sucks. plus i wish i could go to the docters.. i mean theres no problem going, but im scared. i dont know what to sayy.. or anything. im sick of crying every single dayy and im especially sick of life! and i dont know why.. whenever shes mad.. she picks on me!! ALWAYS. even her at the time boyfriend, told her to calm down and he even was sticking up for me! plus when i was young.. i had my first suicide attempt. i had cut my wrists really bad.. she caught me and we went to the hospital.. i said i slipped so they believed me and then when we got home, she sent me to my sisters. and that was it. she didnt say " ohh im here for you " nothing like that. its like im the black sheep of the family.i dont know what to do. im just counting the days til i die, i hope she knows shes killing me.