screwed up again

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by dazzle11215, Mar 5, 2008.

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  1. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    As some of you know after my last attempt I started seeing a community psych nurse, and she's really become someone I count on, and the person I trust most. Today she says she thinks I should consider seeing another psych nurse instead of her as i'm becoming too attached. She thinks how we relate might be "untherapeutic" -- the fact that I've cried non stop since she left makes me agree, but I'm still so sad.

    She says the decision is mine, and we still have our appt for next week on the books. Told her how I felt and she said "no, it's nothing you did" but it doesn't feel like that. She doesn't want to be on a pedestal and insists that the power to get better comes from within me, my strength, my work. I have a headache from crying so hard.

    Here's how it feels to me: I don't know how but i've managed to scare away the one person who has been nice to me since i got here. I feel like such a fuck up and so alone right now.

    I don't know if this makes any sense, but I just had to get it out


  2. Dreamer uk

    Dreamer uk Well-Known Member


    sorry I'm no good with advice
  3. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hey mark, we both know that's not true, although i know why you think that....
    thanks for the hug. appreciate it

  4. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    im sorry, thats terrible. Its a shame that you have made such a strong bond and that has become problematic, but as she has said its your choice, i guess its up to you.

    Do you think its a problem?

  5. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i am having a hard time seeing past my sadness and my feelings of abandonment... but i suspect she's right in some ways. she took it very personally that after seeing her for a few weeks i started cutting again. to me, it was just a coping strategy to deal with issues that were surfacing; to her it was a sign that things weren't going right with my treatment plan. that's why i feel so bad... if i hadn't started cutting maybe she'd still want to work with me? i feel like i've been trying so hard and yet it wasn't good enough. i know this is my biased interpretation of things, but it's still how i feel and i am so sad about it,

  6. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    You cant blame yourself. You had to cope how you had to cope, you never meant it as a personal affront to her.

    It sounds like she has your best at heart hun. Maybe she also feels she is getting too attached to you and doesnt want to hurt you, rather than abandoning her.

    If you feel its best for you to still work with her though, you should tell her that.

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