why do i have to keep doing this to her? she told me she thinks i need help, she called me and said to me "you need help, ill be online if you want it. thas all i have to say." and this is AFTER telling her she cant come crying to me when she fucks up, this is after i fucked up again and told her things i shouldnt. i dont get what the hell is rwong with me, i put her into the middle of my life and for what? so i can shit all over the place? this isnt acceptable, she doesnt even believe me when i tell her i love her anymore. i dont get this, i try to help, but i just make things worse. i fuck up every time i try to help somebody, i cant even help myself. i couldnt help my step sister, i couldnt help my friends, i always fuck up. i feel like i have to help everybody but in the end i just make it worse for everybody around me. i even fucking hurt myself right after she called, and then i got online to talk to her. i was talking to her when i was cleaning up blood dripping off my leg, she tried to get me to stop and this is how i treat her? she tried to help yet again, she tried to save our friendship, but i only fucked up again and told her things i shouldnt of. i put too much pressure on her now, imcompletely screwing this up. just like everything else. shes telling me that i need help, that i need to stop hurting myself and i need to tell somebody who can help because she thinks she cant. she can, she doesnt see it because im so fucking stubborn. god damnit, this is becoming a trigger for me, and im about to hurt myself yet AGAIN. god, i just want to screamat the top of mylungs until i cant scream anymore. and then stab myself in the leg with a knife.