Screwing Everything Up

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by brknsilence, Jun 9, 2016.

  1. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Trying not to post so much. Just seems like I can't escape my thoughts, feelings, and things going on.

    Just seems as though I am screwing up more things lately...

    My husband's and my anniversary today. 10 years. I was so upset emotionally last night and started yelling at him on my frustrations. He knows it wasn't him. Just hate struggling so much. Tearing everything around me up.

    Kids are fighting. I tried getting them outside today and got, "I'm bored". Sadly, my depression has me isolating and everyone is suffering because of it.

    All these and more has me thinking about suicide even more. I keep failing everyone around me. So exhausted.

    When will this ever end with me?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are not failing you have and illness that is debilitating and your hsb needs to reach out now and get you the support you need if it rest then he needs to step up and let you rest If it is a change of meds then your doctor needs to change things a bit It is hard i do understand depression takes everything away and yes one feels like they are failing but it is not you ok it is your illness . I hope you reach out to your doctor and all supports you have to get you to feel stronger hugs
  3. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member

    Thanks - Hugs

    I ran out of meds. I see my dr Monday. Only day of the week I can see him. I can't find anyone else to watch the kids during the week. My case manager knows I ran out. Trying to stay strong and find myself losing it emotionally. So exhausted.

    Just hoping I don't go back inpatient. Trying very hard to avoid it.
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi sweetie, as you know I am always here for you. I hope you are feeling somewhat better now. Please keep us updated on how you are either here or in PM. You are not screwing things up, you are doing the best you can and that is all anyone can ask of you, you are an amazing person and mom, please look after yourself and youre unborn little girl ((hugs))
  5. brknsilence

    brknsilence Well-Known Member


    Thanks for being there.

    I been so drained emotionally and physically. Too tired to do anything. My head hurts for unknown reason. Just woke up for the day and just want to sleep forever. Feeling so depressed. :(