If I were to sum up my thoughts they would be, Worthless Miserable Incompetent Foolish I keep trying to find some redeeming quality, something that will tether me to this life. Not like a giant millstone weighing me down and dragging me beneath the waves, but a lifeboat. Something steady something that can be guided by my hands, something that keeps me from drowning. I keep coming up empty handed, and I'm losing the desire to keep looking. Sometimes I think it would be easier to drown.