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Seclusion as a solution?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by spleen, Mar 28, 2011.

  1. spleen

    spleen Member

    I used to view solitude as a painful experience, one that should be avoided at all costs. Yet, having relationships with women after some bad experiences in the past gave me nightmares, and socializing with friends gave me neither reassurance nor mutual understanding.

    Amusingly enough, I found out during a bout of depression over the past few years, that the more isolated from other people I am, the more content I become with my life. To be honest, I just feel annoyed, when my therapists keep reiterating how important and what a blessing it is too get back into the shallow hugfest of pseudo-empathy that society offers.

    Anyone sharing these thoughts?
  2. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Yep, quite a few of us do.

    If I could have it my way, I'd buy some land somewhere out in the country. A few hundred acres or something. Make like a little world of my own. Don't have to care about anyone outside of it.

    Far as I'm concerned, I'd rather it that way. But people keep saying all that shit about "humans are social species blah blah", you know - the whole 'socializing is great' speech. Of course, these people don't seem to realise we've been fucked over by the very society they want us a part of. People piss me off sometimes.

    There's a couple of pathways I could take in life. They wouldn't be considered 'good' by other 'people'. But that's because they actually want to be alive and do crap. They also aren't me. If they were me, they would like to kill themselves.

    Anyway, yes, there are a few people that would like to reject the general human congregation.
  3. jota1

    jota1 Well-Known Member

    Your country land solution is also one I have thought about ( I am sure many have) but it would have to be shared with someone else. I understand your rejection of the way society functions but dont reject the individual person. There are still plenty of good people out there that I am sure would like to share your life and vice versa.
  4. Madam Mim

    Madam Mim Well-Known Member

    I manage to keep myself secluded while being a social person. The trick is not to allow myself to get too close. I have lots of friends, but all but maybe one of them is sort of acquaintence, someone I don't owe anything.

    I need people around me to keep me grounded, but can't bear to get close to them, so this works for me in a way the private land/estate wouldn't.

  5. gakky1

    gakky1 Well-Known Member

    Like you, tend to find myself more content being isolated versus being around others, also about what you said about your therapist getting back into the swing of things, didn't like it when I heard it but somewhat thought they were right. However, it always felt like a job or torture doing things to meet people, things I didn't have much interest in, doing them just to please the therapist. Yeah, this isolation is nice(?):mhmm: but how long can it go on, staying isolated for a long time just makes it that much tougher and perhaps impossible if you let it go on for too long, I speak from my mistakes in saying that. Would suggest to try to make some sort of effort to be around people, easier said than done is true, but we're here to give you some help and support when you do.:hugtackles:
  6. Socialman

    Socialman Well-Known Member

    I always thought about winning the lottery, buying an island, and cloning up some perfect children.
  7. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I think about isolating myself all the time. It's only natural - most people are intolerable. Therefore, it's only logical that I would not want to be around them.

    People tend to have trouble grasping this concept. I question their mental faculties.
  8. chipper

    chipper Well-Known Member

    it is good but only for a couple of days or may be weeks. everyone needs time alone and away from all that distracts you but doing it all your life... no.
  9. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    if i could i would disappear from the world, and the only contact with the world would be of my choosing... to disappear without any obligations or responsibilities but i need money for that to happen....lots of money.
  10. Monsieur

    Monsieur Well-Known Member

    I already have a pretty schizoid solution undergoing. Sure, I have to go to school and interact with people to some extent. But when I get home I just completely seclude myself and avoid long distance communications with my peers.
  11. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    My entire life has been secluded. I am 27 years old. Have never had a sexual partner. Never had a friend since childhood. I don't talk to people outside of work or family because I'm not interested in talking to people like that. Not out of fear or anxiety or shyness, it's just not something I want. I can write, but being in person makes me uncomfortable and after a couple minutes of pleasantries and greetings I want to leave. When people reach out to me more actively I push them away. As far as sex goes, I don't like to be touched. Having another person that close to me is too much. I feel like I can't breath. and no, I was not abused as a kid.

    so as far as avoiding relationships to avoid the problems that go with them, i suppose that's one way to go. Can't say if it's good, or "healthy". I'm sure most people would recoil in horror at what I just wrote.

    ... I've never told anyone this before. Soon I will have to tell a therapist. I'm scared. :sad:
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 15, 2011
  12. Mr Stewart

    Mr Stewart Well-Known Member

    I believe the technical term for that is "fuck you money". :/
  13. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Yousuga no Sora... we are least alone by ourselves... at least I think that is the translation... anyway... seclusion could be the anser... I am drunk so I did not read your therad. I am sorry.

    Seclusions revleals ourselves to ourselves. When we realize we are alone we are most aware of the most important person in our lives... ourself. ..... who knows....

    ^_^ PM me I can share your seclusion if only in 1s and 0s.
  14. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    I have a job, two jobs actually, but my main job has me dealing with people on email, IM, phone, face to face and work cell, all day long, 5 days per week. I usually feel beat up when I get home, lol

    I have two children, lovely daughters, teens, and I love spending time with them. I have some dear precious friends I met here, that I try to talk to by email.

    But.....I play a lotto each week at work, and if I was ever lucky enough to win, I would be in a beach house on the west coast within a week.....content to live alone and meet no new friends.....just be with my daughters. I seem to be a very bubbly vivacious person when you meet me, but the truth is, I feel the most content and at ease, when I am alone.

    Interesting thread......