Second day without food or water

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jamieyello, Dec 1, 2013.

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  1. jamieyello

    jamieyello Member

    I'm 18 and I've never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl, I don't have any friends at all. I met a girl in summer (I can't remember if it was 2012 or 2013, I've lost track of all time) but somewhere around the line I found out she was only 14, even though we looked the same age. I thought to myself, if it really matters I can wait 2 years and no one will care. 16 year olds date 20 year olds all the time.

    I told her that there was a huge age difference and she hasn't me talked to me since. She seems to be completely unaware of how big of a loser I actually am, I never told her how I felt because I didn't want to lose my only friend in the world. Now she's to busy with all her friends every weekend to see me. Then she got a boyfriend.

    Now I don't see a future for myself. Before in high school I never talked to anyone because of anxiety and fear of crowds. I was picked on every day. After my dad was arrested for molesting my sister I started drinking. People started to become afraid of me after the <edit mod total eclipse triggering>, just because of how miserable I looked. At first I didn't mind, I thought maybe people will stop picking on me? They didn't. People were throwing textbooks and rubber bands at me every day. A couple teachers started acting really nice to me out of no where. I saw right through it, their prejudice p***ed me off. I was the nicest person they knew and they looked at me like a serial killer. At the end of the day one of them walked in my classroom and searched my bag for guns, only to find whiskey. They proceded to talk to me condescendingly, then I was expelled.

    Yesterday I went into the <edit mod total eclipse method>myself, but couldn't do it. The forest was so cold and dark and dead I couldn't stand the thought of dieing there for some reason. I was pretty delusional after only a day of no food or water, I'm really skinny for my height. I also went a little nuts and started arguing with myself. I was to weak to take down <edit mod total eclipse method>and walked back to my house.

    Now it's day 2 and I still haven't eaten, my heart is pounding and fingers and toes freezing. With my body size, even though I'm doing nothing but laying in bed I don't think I'll be alive much longer.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 1, 2013
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are just making your life more miserable for yourself instead start to yourself compassion do what others would not do take care of YOU ok don't let the ones that harm you have any more power
     
  3. jonsmith

    jonsmith Well-Known Member

    dont kill yourself. you need to give life a shot before you throw in the towel
     
  4. TheAce

    TheAce New Member

    Stay strong buddy, Life is too short. You will meet a girl one day. My dad didnt have his first kiss till he was 23. :playball:
     
  5. NotThisLife

    NotThisLife Well-Known Member

    Yeah, you don't want to go out like this, trust me. When I was in jail I tried to starve myself. They had me down in solitary confinement, so I was totally alone and flushed my food and water down the toilet to make it look like I was eating. By the 4th day, I started seeing weird lights behind my eyes and got sores in my mouth. Got very disoriented....it was not cool. I'm not here to try to talk you out of anything....but you don't want to do it like this. It takes a long time, and is one of the worst ways to go out. Go get you something to eat, something small so you don't make yourself sick. Force it if you have to.

    As for the rest, I'll be 29 in April and I'm still a virgin. Only kissed a girl one time and it was the most pathetically awkward moments in my life. I have many reasons to be depressed, but being almost 30 and not having been with a girl is not one of them. Girls come and go, but death is forever. Give yourself time
     
  6. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    It's not a good idea to starve yourself, and your body can't go for more than a few days without water. I know you seem to think you should suffer for some reason, but you really don't. I got picked on and ignored by people all of my life, and it's had long-lasting effects, so I know how hard that can be to deal with. You're 18, you're still young, and you will have plenty of time to find someone. I know how it feels to be that lonely...I'm almost 29 and no one has ever really cared about me, throughout my whole life. But it doesn't mean that it will always be that way. Please keep posting here and let us help you through this.
     
  7. mbczion

    mbczion Well-Known Member

    18 is YOUNG. I lost my V-card at 21. There wasn't internet when I was that age, so I thought I was the oldest male virgin outside of the Vatican and, like you, was quite depressed, but I didn't give up and eventually *it* happened. Today, with internet, if you go online and google "adult male virgins" you will see for yourself that there are male virgins out there in their 20s, 30s, 40s, and even older.
     
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