Sectioned by Police on a 136

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by GoldenPsych, Feb 20, 2011.

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  1. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Crap. Things have really gotten out of hand.



    Last night I was arrested and placed under Section 136 of mental health act. Basically the police arrest people being a bit mental in public places. I'll start from the beginning.



    I went out last night and got wasted. On the way home I was feeling rather suicidal and thought that the idea of jumping off a bridge was a good idea. I remember standing on the ledge and then sitting on the ground. I don't know who turned up first whether it was police or ambulance. I said I wasn't going anywhere but the made me get on the ambulance. They said I had to go to the ED to be assessed by crisis team. I was not happy but the police said I would be arrested and taken to 136 suite if I didn't go. So didn't leave me with much choice. I didn't realise the police were following in their car and I tried to get off ambulance while we were moving. I get to the ED and I don't want to go in. The paramedics were really nice to me saying I needed to speak to someone. I was panicking as I didn't want to wait in waiting room around other people so I was reluctant to go sign my self in at the desk. In the end I gave the paramedic my details and he did it for me. I was pacing around a bit as I was anxious. I was drunk but the reality of what was happening was setting in.They wouldn't let me go to the toilet which just pissed me off. The police were with me now. There was 3 of them. I made an attempt to go to the loo and they grabbed on to me and put my arm up my back restraining me and hurting me.



    They transferred me to a cubicle and the police were in there with me. In my drunken state I thought I would be able to leave and they restrained me again...painfully. They finally let me go to the toilet but the police woman wouldn't close the door. So I had to pee and people could hear me. To be fair I have a history of locking my self in the toilet and self harming so that I could understand. Bitch nurse was on. She had a go at me asking what had happened, why I was back again, why I was messing up my own life and having a go about resources. OK, I was drunk and not exactly cooperative but there was no need for that. She doesn't know me, she doesn't know anything about me. She always calls me by the wrong name, it's similar but wrong and it drives me mad. She's dog ugly also and I really don't like her. She's a horrible, un-compassionate person.



    Anyway, after a while the police changed over and they said I could go out for a cigarette. I was escorted out by the 2 of them and I was pacing around. I got all panicky again and said I didn't want to go back in and see crisis. That I wasn't a threat to myself as all I wanted to do was go home and go to bed. Next thing I know I am being handcuffed behind my back, painfully and restrained again. They then tell me I am being arrested under 136 MHA. I then said I would be willing to go back in to the ED. I was willing to see crisis team and basically begged them not to take me on 136. I tried arguing with them but they said I had had my chance. They had been with me a couple of hours already and I was resisting all the time. I told them they couldn't arrest me if I was willing to attend the ED as 136 is for people who are not willing. I was sat in the back of the car with my legs out. I refused to get in saying they had wrongfully arrested me as I was willing. I am not sure when it comes to absconding risk of they can arrest you even if you say you are willing. I need to look in to it more on that one. Not that I will be able to do anything now about it but still.



    My problem with the 136 is that I have worked on the wards at that hospital and on 136 suite. I know a lot of the staff. So I was really panicking now. They wouldn't loosen the hand cuffs or bring them round to my front. I told them it was really hurting me but they couldn't care less. I can't see why they needed to be round my back as I was not being violent. Just argumentative and stupid really. The woman police officer was horrible. She was a nasty bitch also and had no understanding or compassion in regards to why I was feeling like I was. She had no interest at all. Was rude to me and even when I was polite to her she was arrogant and off.



    So I was taken in to the suite in my local hospital. I knew the nurse on and the HCA. It was mortifying. Especially as I was in cuffs. I didn't want to be in the communal area at all and they let me into the room. I went to the loo and just collapsed in to the bathroom corner crying. The nurse came in and spoke to me. I said I would rather be in the cells at the local police station than there and asked if that was a possibility. The police man who was nice came in and explained that I had been removed from a public place to a place of safety and now I was in it they couldn't transfer me. I spoke to the nurse again and she knew who I was and explained that I couldn't be sent back down to the ED to see crisis team and they couldn't come there to assess me as now I had been arrested on a 136 (or detained as I hadn't actually committed a crime) I needed to have a full MHA assessment. I knew there was no way that I was going to be going home after a while. Having worked in that suite I know how long it takes for them to arrange doctors and social workers. You need to have three people present to do the MHA assessment and I had feelings that I would be there all day and more people would know about it. Especially as the nurse due on Sunday morning was one that I knew reasonably well.



    She gave me the option of being transferred to another city to use their 136 suite. I only know one member of staff who works in that hospital so I thought my chances would be better going there. I was worrying about how much it would cost for me to get home and the nurse said if that was worrying me they would pay for it.



    The police tried to talk me out of going saying it was not a nice place and that I wouldn't get a bed there like in my own hospital. I said I didn't care as no one would know me and they would at local hospital where I work. The police said I would have to wait a while as they were going to transfer me in the back of the van in the cage. I pleaded with them and said I hadn't been violent to them so why were they making me go in the cage. I felt like I was being punished and that I was a criminal. About 40minutes later we reached the other hospital. It was so cramped in the cage I practically flew out as soon as they opened the doors. I was met by another nurse and him and the police took me to their suite. It was a tiny place. Luckily they don't make you stay in the tiny room. It would be like a seclusion room. There was no window in there and it felt really claustrophobic. The nurse was lovely. He was really caring and asked me lots of questions and took an interest in me.He let me sit in the office area also. I think patients are allowed to use that area. But I wasn't exactly a risk to anyone. He even let me go out for a cigarette. It's technically not allowed on a 136 but he took me out with another member of staff. I was hardly going to out run two blokes who can restrain to get me back on to the ward/room.



    Another nurse took over the shift. He was also really nice. He spent ages talking to me and asking me about everything what had led up to it. I told him quite a bit but I kept quite a bit hidden. I knew he was assessing me so I told him I have problems being honest when it comes to things like this as I don't want to end up in hospital. I told him why I thought I did what I did last night and how I was feeling. I talked a little about having a constant fight and how draining it was for me to do this and keep up an act to everyone else as I don't want people seeing me as vulnerable or weak. I also told him that even if I was making suicide plans that I wouldn't tell him as would stop me going ahead with it. I did tell him it was something I thought about a lot and ways in which I have considered but have not come to a definite plan of action.



    So. being assessed my 2 doctors and a social worker. So in total there were 3 blokes a woman and me. I actually prefer men when it comes to things like this. I don't know why but I feel more at ease. It was the woman who was asking most the questions though. I was being really careful in what I was saying. I was conscious they were there to look whether or not to detain me. I had to be careful as I didn't really want to mention what I had told the nurse but at the same time I couldn't lie if I were asked a question about it.



    They basically wanted to know what has been going on on to lead up to this event where I was considering jumping off a bridge. I was honest and said that I thought it was a mixture of impulsivity, what I have been saying to Sam in the last weeks and general stupidness. They asked me what I wanted. So I explained about wanting to go home but I wanted support in place. I explained how going in to hospital would be the end of my career and life as I would just give up and I would lose control. I said I was scared and I didn't really know what to do though.



    They went away to deliberate on me. It was awful. And when they came back in it seemed an age before she got to the bit where she said they were happy to release me off the section.



    It really scared me. The staff at other city hospital were fantastic. I said to the band 6 who was with me this morning that as nice as he was I wish I hadn't met him. Or if it was it was through different circumstances. He was really helpful with giving me reassurance in regards to the MHA assessment and I felt like he was taking my side. He said he didn't believe I should be in hospital as feels it would make things worse. So he was with me on that. He said also that he hoped to see me again but through work not my problems.



    I feel so stupid, so humiliated, so let down with myself that I let things get to that stage.



    So after 7 hours on other city 136 suite I was allowed to go. They even paid for my taxi home which would have cost me about 40quid.



    I need to not binge drink like that. I am certain that alcohol led to my appalling behaviour and actions last night.
     
  2. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    Hi

    It sounds like a very frightening experience for you and I'm glad that you're back home now. Sounds like you had a mixture of kind staff and not-so-kind ones too, but I am glad that they were able to transfer you to a suite outside of your area. Please try to not be so hard on yourself today - you've been through a lot so beating yourself up about things today probably won't help. Treat yourself with kindness, just as some of the staff did and how you would most probably treat anyone else who is in your situation.

    Are you back at work this week? I'm hoping things go well when you do go back.

    Take extra good care of yourself
    Jenny x
     
  3. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    Do you think getting drunk is what caused you to feel that way? Or did you get drunk because you felt that way?

    I'm glad that you at least were able to talk to some nice people in addition to the arrogant police officers...A lot of them are like that, though, unfortunately.

    What are you up to today after that whole ordeal?
     
  4. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Drunk because I felt that way. Also because I have not been drinking much recently my tollerance has gone right down. They breathalysed me and at 5am I was double drink drive limit but by 10 I was at about 0. So I can't have had that much in my system really.

    I was terrified. I really was. I didn't want to be on my own at all. The nurse was really nice. They were both lovely and tried to make me feel better. They kept asking if I wanted to go in the other room and lie down but I was so scared I didn't even want to be there, even though the door would have remained open etc. There was no window and it was like a cell. It was a small room also. I can see why they tried to talk me out of going. But I was able to sit in the office with the nurse. I asked if it was usually allowed and they said it depended on the patient.

    I feel so angry in myself today. Humiliated. And on top of it I feel so low. And suicidal. I did say to the nurse about how I don't think I would have jumped but I felt suicidal all the time and was on my mind a lot but it was methods that I was working on. To top it all off I have appointment with Psychiatrist tomorrow. I am dreading it. I am going to have to tell him about this as the notes etc wont be sent across in time. I am also going to have to tell him how I did actually try and kill myself while I was in the hospital a couple of weeks back. I am going to ask for a CPN or something. Someone I can go to and off load on when I do feel bad.
     
  5. Jenny

    Jenny Staff Alumni

    I really hope your appointment with the psychiatrist goes as well as it can and that you are able to be assigned a CPN to help during the rough times. I have a CPN who hasn't proved too helpful but that doesn't mean they're all like it. I will be thinking of you tomorrow and sending positive thoughts your way x
     
  6. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    Thanks. I am dreading it. Going to try and get early night tonight. I don't feel that tired considering.
     
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    i worked with a cpn when i lived in ireland. she was great. i hope you find someone you can trust and rely on. sending hugs,


    c
     
  8. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    It sounds awful ,I hate the police ,they havent been trained in crisis mode ,not here anyway .
    I think you should try and stay away from alcohol if this happenes ,it sounds like you went out of control becos of it.I know this is obvious .Sorry too ,Im not being patronising .
    i was arrested wehn I ws psychotic ,but they didnt use handcuffs .but I can empthatise
     
  9. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I think maybe cos i'm so busy during the week i'm repressing all the feelings and they came out when i'd had a drink. I'm dreading this appointment. Less than an hour away now. Eek
     
  10. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    good luck with the appointment..glad you're getting some help
     
  11. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I think maybe cos i'm so busy during the week i'm repressing all the feelings and they came out when i'd had a drink. I'm dreading this appointment. Less than an hour away now. Eek
     
  12. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I don't know how much longer i'm going to be able to come here. I keep seeing service users i know. At least they've not recognised me yet but it's only a matter of time. And then i'm in the shit.
     
  13. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    How did your appointment go? X
     
  14. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member

    I'm still waiting to be seen.
     
  15. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    good luck and be brave. tell him everything....
     
  16. Ravenwing

    Ravenwing Well-Known Member

    Will be thinking of you today. :hug:
     
  17. TooShyToScream

    TooShyToScream Well-Known Member

    I hope the appointment went well.

    Are you feeling any better at all?
     
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