Hello Everyone,
Today has been the toughest day in my entire life. I have suffered two breakdowns in the past three months due an on-going health problem that isn't being addressed. I have searched high and low for a surgeon (or specialist) who can help me but each and everyday the chance of recovery get's lower and lower. I am sitting back watching my body decompose.
Three months ago i was diagnosed with a rare testosterone disorder. It was difficult to treat because my body was "immune" to all the available drugs. I suffered a fall that damaged my brain as well as left testicle. This in turn caused a rare condition to form where my body shut down all natural testosterone production. It was difficult to treat because my body was immune to all available drugs in the field and each day my condition was getting worse and worse.
At this stage my body has shutdown and i an longer feel like the healthy, young guy. The doctor's don't listen to me when i tell them about the aches and pains i am suffering and keep telling me this is a "genetic" situation when really it's not (it's vascular and a hormone disorder caused by tramua). This has been proved by blood results. I no longer wish to go on living this life of pain and suffering and tonight will end my life. I do not wish to disclose location, methods or anything else for that matter. I will bring along some music i composed myself and will continue life on the other side.
I am sorry i couldn't have spent longer to help others but the amount of problem's this has caused with me and my family is unbearable. I don't want to cloud over the good times with the most negative experience of my entire life. I won't sit back and watch my body decompose before me with no one trying to help me.
I have gotten alot of courage and help from friend's and family but everything erupted today with my family. No one can deal with this difficult situation anymore including myself. Testosterone controls a large part of what it is to be human and when this taken away (even in small amounts) your mind can play back tricks on you. You can suffer depression, mood swings, physical changes as well as a whole host of bad experiences in general. It can make you a difficult person to live with.
I want to leave one quote behind for everyone to read and really focus hard on how difficult their situation "really" is. For some i might be seen as taking the easy way out but the fact of the matter is the problem is alot deeper than this. When your own body and health is against you it can be difficult to deal with.
My quote is as follows:
"Have no fear. Go on your instinct. Never regret your decisions. Use every single skill, passion or ability and work todo your best, even if it mean's going against all the odds. Overcome the odd's and show the true strength of what it is to be human. Never take your body and health for granted - NEVER abuse yourself no matter how bad thing's get. Live strong and don't die young. Life is an experience - always remember the good times along with the bad."
Well take care everyone and always stay strong no matter what the odd's are against you. Just remember you can beat anything.
Best Regards,
Dave
Today has been the toughest day in my entire life. I have suffered two breakdowns in the past three months due an on-going health problem that isn't being addressed. I have searched high and low for a surgeon (or specialist) who can help me but each and everyday the chance of recovery get's lower and lower. I am sitting back watching my body decompose.
Three months ago i was diagnosed with a rare testosterone disorder. It was difficult to treat because my body was "immune" to all the available drugs. I suffered a fall that damaged my brain as well as left testicle. This in turn caused a rare condition to form where my body shut down all natural testosterone production. It was difficult to treat because my body was immune to all available drugs in the field and each day my condition was getting worse and worse.
At this stage my body has shutdown and i an longer feel like the healthy, young guy. The doctor's don't listen to me when i tell them about the aches and pains i am suffering and keep telling me this is a "genetic" situation when really it's not (it's vascular and a hormone disorder caused by tramua). This has been proved by blood results. I no longer wish to go on living this life of pain and suffering and tonight will end my life. I do not wish to disclose location, methods or anything else for that matter. I will bring along some music i composed myself and will continue life on the other side.
I am sorry i couldn't have spent longer to help others but the amount of problem's this has caused with me and my family is unbearable. I don't want to cloud over the good times with the most negative experience of my entire life. I won't sit back and watch my body decompose before me with no one trying to help me.
I have gotten alot of courage and help from friend's and family but everything erupted today with my family. No one can deal with this difficult situation anymore including myself. Testosterone controls a large part of what it is to be human and when this taken away (even in small amounts) your mind can play back tricks on you. You can suffer depression, mood swings, physical changes as well as a whole host of bad experiences in general. It can make you a difficult person to live with.
I want to leave one quote behind for everyone to read and really focus hard on how difficult their situation "really" is. For some i might be seen as taking the easy way out but the fact of the matter is the problem is alot deeper than this. When your own body and health is against you it can be difficult to deal with.
My quote is as follows:
"Have no fear. Go on your instinct. Never regret your decisions. Use every single skill, passion or ability and work todo your best, even if it mean's going against all the odds. Overcome the odd's and show the true strength of what it is to be human. Never take your body and health for granted - NEVER abuse yourself no matter how bad thing's get. Live strong and don't die young. Life is an experience - always remember the good times along with the bad."
Well take care everyone and always stay strong no matter what the odd's are against you. Just remember you can beat anything.
Best Regards,
Dave